JOKES or FUNNY STORIES

Almost Anything Goes

Postby Capricorn » Wed Jan 15, 2003 7:31 pm

There are cut backs every where these days. Even the Pantomome perfomances have had to take a cut.


"Snow White and the seven dwarfs" have been cut to"Snow White and one dwarf"

"Puss in Boots" is now "Puss with bare Feet"

and"Jack and the Beanstalk" is now "Jack and the Beansprout"
Laughter is better than any medicine the doctor can prescribe.
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Postby Luc » Wed Jan 15, 2003 8:36 pm

the true definition of jury...

a group of poeple that space out during the whole session then when time for the statement they ponder over whos rich or has the best lawyer...

0.o ok so its not a joke but i find the truth to be a bit amussiing..
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Postby Capricorn » Thu Jan 16, 2003 8:52 am

Life is often a joke , Luc!! :lol:
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Postby Capricorn » Mon Jan 20, 2003 7:21 pm

Johnny is having a bad day! :roll:

When he went to put his shirt on a button dropped off! :shock:

He went to pick up his briefcase and the handle dropped off! :evil:

......so then he was nervous about going to the toilet! :oops:
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Postby Capricorn » Tue Jan 28, 2003 8:50 am

A notice in a large department store.

The toilets here are OUT OF ORDER


Please use the floor below




:o :?
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Postby Dreamer » Sat Feb 01, 2003 12:55 am

Got a naughty giggle from this one...

New Holiday


Every 14th of February you get the chance to display your fondness
for your wife or girlfriend by showering her with gifts, flowers,
dinner, shows and any other baubles that women find romantic.

Secret...guys feel left out. That's right...left out. There's no
special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the
men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or just too
embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been
created.

March 20th is now officially "Steak & Blowjob Day."

Simple, effective and self-explanatory...this holiday has been
created so your ladies can have a day to show your man just how much
you love him. No cards, no flowers, no special nights on the
town, the name of the holiday explains it all...just a steak and a
BJ. That's it. This twin pairing of Valentine's Day and Steak &
Blowjob Day will usher in a new age of love as men everywhere will
try THAT much harder in February to ensure a more memorable March!
It's like a perpetual love machine.

The word is already spreading, but as with any new idea, it needs a
little push to start the ball rolling. So spread the word, and help
bring love and peace to this crazy world.

------ hehe:
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Postby Luc » Sat Feb 01, 2003 1:40 am

lol i like that one... :lol:
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Postby Capricorn » Sat Feb 01, 2003 5:49 am

LOL :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Postby Luc » Mon Feb 03, 2003 10:32 pm

the kitchen female dog

a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her five year old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. she heard the train stop and her son saying " all of you sons of bitches who want off get the hell off now.. cause this is the last stop! and all of you sons of bitches who are getting on get your asses in the train cause we're going down the tracks"
the horrified mother went in and told her son' we dont use that kind of language in this houw now i want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for 2 hours! when you come out you may play with your train but i want you to use nice language.
two hours later the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing with his train. soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say "all passengers please remember to take all of your belonging with you. we thank you and hope your trip was a pleasant one. we hope you will ride with us again soon" she heard her little darling continue " for those of you just boarding remember there is no smokeing in the train. we hope you will have a pleasant and relazing journey with us today."
as the mother began to smile the child added. " for those of you who are pissed off about the two hour delay please see the female dog in the kitchen.

:lol: :twisted:
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Postby Capricorn » Fri Feb 07, 2003 8:42 pm

LOL!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: Oh I really like this one Luc...and I nearly missed it! So glad I noticed it today! :lol:
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