DreamersReality.com

This really happened to me you have to remember my memory sucks.
I went to the donut shop by cab.I knew they had a money machine in there so I ccould get money out for a ride home. Well the stupid machine was out of order. A waitress at the donut shop said she would loan me enough money for a cab ride home. the next day I went back to pay her back and I gave the money to the wrong girl. she thought I was being really nice and took it. the other one thought I ripped her off. so yesterday I got it all straightened out.

oh man barb that is a funny one.. major oops there...

Why do the French plant trees alongside their roadways?..........Because the Germans like to march in the shade.

i dont get it....


anyways befor i posted this, i looked under the response or comments thingy and it said "123" i just thought it was funny, like "A B C... 1 2 3" get it?!

50 Years Of Bad S'ex!

Grampa and Grandma were sitting a the table. Grandma gets up suddenly,
rolls up her newspaper and proceeds to slap Grandpa upside the head.
He says, "What was that for?"
Grandma says, "That's for 50 years of bad sex."
Grandpa sits there muttering, rolls up his newspaper, and goes over and
slaps Grandma upside the head.
She says, "Now what's that for?"
He says, "That's for knowing the difference!"

From Del:

Girls Night Out

Two women friends had gone for a Girls Night Out, but had been decidedly
over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk and walking
home they needed to pee.
They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their
business behind a head stone or something.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she'd take off her
panties and use them, then throw them away.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive underwear set and
didn't want to ruin hers but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon
from a wreath that was on one of the graves and proceeded to wipe
herself with that.
They then made off for home.
The next day one woman's husband phoned the other husband and said
"These darn girls night outs have got to stop. My wife came home last
night without her panties..."
"That's nothing" said the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck
between the cheeks of her ass that said 'From all of us at the Fire
Station. We'll never forget you'."

this is a true story. I go for coffee at this cafe. and This one lady isn't very pleasant with the public . But this other one that's usually there is very helpful and pleasant. So when I went in there the nice one was working. I said I'm so glad that you're working and not that one that's unfriendly and always miserable. The girl said yeah my mom is different.Well talk about feeling like a jerk.Now when I go in there I keep my BIG MOUTH SHUT.

Ha ha!! --- good one Barb

A first grade teacher collected well-known proverbs. She gave each
child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with
the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually
done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these
keep in mind that these are first graders..."6" year-olds...because the last
one is a classic!

1. Better to be safe than..................... .punch a 5th grader.
2. Strike while the ........................... bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before..................Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of.........termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but......... how?
6. Don't bite the hand that...................looks dirty.
7. No news is.................................impossible.
8. A miss is as good as a.....................Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new.............math.
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll....stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust............................. me.
12. The pen is mightier than the...............pigs.
13. An idle mind is......... the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's............. pollution.
15. Happy the bride who.......gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is............................not much.
17. Two's company, three's....................the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what....you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you; cry and.....you have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as.................Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not......spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed..............get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you...see in the picture on the box.
24. When the blind leadeth the blind..........get out of the way.

And the favorite:

25. Better late than........................... pregnant!!!!

Ok, I live in Germany, so here goes some German jokes.

Joke 1: Why do the French plant trees along their road-sides?
Because the Germans like to march in the shade.

Here's another one.....

Joke 2: A recent survey discovered that while in traffic jams one-third of Germans day-dream about sex. The other two-thirds day dream about invading France.