week 15!

This is a category for playing around with our talents for writing

week 15!

Postby Luc » Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:53 pm

hehehehe.. excited.. just cant wait to see you guy's poems. i bet they'll be really good. and i dread the time when i have to pick a winner because it will be difficult.. but anyways on with the topic.

I've been thinking, not so hard, but hard.. and to tell you the truth im not entirely sure what topic to put. i wanted to put family, but someone already did that, as well as last week's detailed poems... i even thought about emotions but someone already did that. well something very simlier to that.

so topic for this week is: war and i mean it as literally a war. vietnam, world war 2, etc etc etc. what im aiming here is, try to put yourself in a soilder's shoes. try and think what you will or might feel if you were a soilder over seas. what' you'll see, basically your emotions and your five sences. but mostly your emotions on the whole thing.

or if you want, whats your view on war. (that'll probably more easier) do you like it, or dont, think its right, or wrong. give your reasons, in a poetic way.

man i feel like a teacher saying that.. ha.. um yeah..

if this topic is ,, offensive for some x reason(s) or you simply just dont like it, please feel free to say so, and i'll be more then happy to change it for ya'...

and i also posted this early because sometimes i dont get on, and it might be a feel days, or possibly none, so i'll post it now. i'll choose the winner tuesday. seven days from now.
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Postby Martin Vann » Wed Sep 17, 2003 4:12 pm

"The Glory Of Death In Combat, What Glory Can There Be?"

-Only The Few, The Very Privileged, Ever See Death In Combat, And We Who Have Survived, Discover The Brotherhood That Coincides With Death And Life.-

Our brother/sister fell, in a hostile, flurry of hand grenades, machine gun fire, and mortars, all sent as the eternal gift, to all warriors who fight, for what ever the cause, its the gift of death, from the pits of hell.

We, the very few, saw them fall, heard their cries of pain, and some, muttered, not a sound at all.

During the fury of the fight, those of us who survived, didn't hear or couldn't address, the sounds our brother and sister cried, but saw them fall, we knew them all. and we limped away, glad to be alive.

How shorth that walk, as years passed by, we find we didn't walk away at all. We only moved our body to a new location, so far away, we thought, we might forget our comrades fall.

Yet, the sound, the hostile fire, the blazing courage that surrounded us all, we hear it all, once again, actually, it never, really ends.

Although the years have passed by, the blood has dried, from Omaha to God knows where. They were Marines, they are Marines, they lift their spirits before our very eyes, each a moment in our lives, we share with them, we share their lives, and once again, we bring them back to life.

Once a warrior, always a warrior, not for the sake of the fight, but because of the loss of life. That sime from Tennessee, that laugh from the guy from Texas, the funny way that kid said, America, that kid from Atlanta and on.

There is not a wife, a mother, a father, a lover, a brother, or a sister, who knew them as we did. We were the privileged, we knew then before their death in combat. We knew how real they were, how honest and dishonest, we knew them above and beyond all others, we knew them as warriors, some of which, did not know they were.

They died, we cried and to this day, we cry, not always tears running down our cheeks, but within our hearts, during our private times. We never forget, actually, we remember more, after all they were alive before, but now, we see them as they were, warriors, Marines, who fell upon Heaven's floor.

Have you any thoughts that we left them all alnoe, Hell no, they fell at Heaven's door. I feel no guilt, that I survived nor that they gave their precious lives. Their sprits sing, United States Marine.

Thank God I was allowed to live, to share with you and others, all that my brothers and sisters did, as warriors, now you tell me, how does Freedom Feel?

Martin Vann, Former Marine.

Just wanated to express myself regarding Luc's challenge, I'm not so vain, to think I will be the survivor in this series, and would have to say, my personal business will be taking me away for a few weeks, will have e-mail access, but, I just can't compete.
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Postby bench » Thu Sep 18, 2003 10:58 pm

The wall has been torn down
The gap has been bridged
The barrier has been shaken
The language has been merged

The hill over there
Is not a fence
Between us any longer

Nuclear arms have been disabled
Treaties have been strengthened
Peoples have been united
Countries have been forged

The hill over there
Is not a fence
Between us any longer

Decisions are made in haste
Peoples' lives are lost
War is a such waste
When life we should cherish the most

The hill over there
Is not a fence
Between us any longer
Live Life, Love Life
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Postby Visionary » Sun Sep 21, 2003 1:24 am

I signed the contract
My future is known
For the next 6 years
I will be owned

They put me on a plane
I've never been away before
Im going off to train
So far from my front door

I step off the bus
And greeted with growl
I knew this was coming
Wiped away is my smile

I train for weeks on end
Pushing limits everyday
Not getting much sleep
Hoping to get through another day

Graduation day is here
I am now standing tall
Part of a great history
I now will fight for you all

I'm told im being shipped
Right off to war
Going to Iraq
So far from my front door

Just a couple of months ago
I was playing football with friends
Now Im defending FREEDOM
with GOD I'll make amends

For what I have to do here
Is very personal to me
There will never be another 9 eleven
I will fight for everybody across the sea

I will sleep in these sand coffins
And think of home everyday
That gives me the strength to fight
And smile in a way

I eat out of a plastic bag
My shower is a baby wipe
A box for a latrine
And bombs bursting all night

This is what I've trained for
Im only 18
Not yet old enough to drink
But old enough to be a killing machine

Just a couple of months ago
I was playing football with friends
Now Im defending our FREEDOM
I have pride in what I do, but with GOD I'll make amends
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Postby Luc » Tue Sep 23, 2003 7:06 pm

hmm.. only three people, all with very good poems.. but im wondering if i should wait or just choose from the three that entered.. hmm... guess i'll just choose from the three...

martin van.. i loved the whole thing, cant really say more, or i just cant find the words that are suitable for this poem. speechless in a way i sappose.. great poem..

bench.. i like that little stanza that kept repeating " The hill over there Is not a fence Between us any longer" reminds me of a song.. i bet it'll sound reall good with some music.

visionary... i liked the whole abcb pattern and i really liked that last line" but with god i'll make amends".. im a sucker for good endigns..

guess the "winner" is.. drum roll please ~* drums roll *~ martin van.. congrats.. :)
now its your turn to bless us with a topic

now i sappose i have to make up a poem with those three huh.. well here i go.. :mrgreen:
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Postby Luc » Thu Sep 25, 2003 8:30 pm

I'm still in the process of makeing the peom, trying to add as much as i can from all the poems. and trying to make it sound nice. :) again.. "trying" being the key word..

so, martin im sorry you cant ecept this "win" .. and so the winner for this weeks contest is...

still a hard decision.. but i'll have to give it to visionary. :D congrats...
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Postby Visionary » Sat Sep 27, 2003 10:57 am

Well...thanks.....I kinda hope Martin will still post some more of his work!...I'll post a subject tomorrow...so then we have a true week....Thanks Luc!....See ya tomorrow!
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Postby Brenda Michelle » Sat Sep 27, 2003 11:46 am

congrats visionary!
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