Unwanted Memories Locked In My Heart
the day kept goin'
with no end
playin' in my mind
over and over again
yet i had to surrender those feeling very soon
where do i start
what do i do
it is shreddin' my heart
this is all so new
i need your support
i have no clue
caint get over in losin' you
i'm taken to the funeral home
caint say a word
my heart is froze
i hear many echoes
bouncin' off my chest
tryin' to find the best
i feel like i am not capable to continue
life without you
we have many for you to chose?
my heart stuck in my throat
i don't know what to do
i want to run and hide
while my soul looks for you
caint they recognize my damaged heart?
i gather my thoughts
try to make sense
of this part of life
if only i could trade my sorrows and my pain
an unbendin' heart has become bitter with God
i know it is so wrong
and so much i must understand
i look around
tears well in my eyes
i drop to my kness
and say give me a moment please
how do i chose a coffin
for the man that i love
i caint do this
yet i caint continue to put it off another day
take me away
i finalized the coffin i choose
then they tell me there is more to do
caint they see with out you
part of me died too?
the services just make them well
a fly over would be great
just please don't let any of this
become memories locked in my heart
the flag draped
the tears escape
please don't walk my way
i don't know what to say
please don't walk my way
my tears will begin so fresh
they handed me the flag
that did me in
i felt the tears leavin' my soul
i feel my heart cryin'
and unable to breath
i'm taken to the car
to avoid the crowd
how am i gonna face another day
how am i gonna face another day without you?
how am i gonna face livin' life alone
your the only love i've ever known
------- Author's Notes -------
old write.(when, faced with a sad heart, i try to bring him back to life ,and feel his heart before he died,just to touch and taste happiness again, he never let me down )
Comments on this poem/writing:
|KitKatrina (184.108.40.206) -- Saturday, July 9 2005, 06:06 am|
Tears rolled down my cheeks when I read this one Terrie. My experience of this too, was similar. It's too hard to have to handle on your own. I feel for you, I can't imagine what you had to go through. I don't want to make feelings worse, but does it ever get any easier? Or does each day seem to get worse? There isn't a day that goes by, I don't think of my father. Your husband was about the same age as him. It is so sad, I'm sorry, and I hope that in time you don't feel alone. He is with you.
|anonymous (220.127.116.11) -- Saturday, July 9 2005, 07:14 am|
wow...i've had dreams of doing this someday....really like this poem...thanks for a nice read Terrie. u are gifted in writing so many poems, and we are so lucky....keep writing to us, even if we don't comment on every one.
|Angel in Tears (18.104.22.168) -- Saturday, July 9 2005, 10:37 am|
I always wondered,how in the world people find the strength to deal with all the things needed to bury a loved one.So painful and difficult I soon found.The whole world goes on,but you just wish it would just stop!You no longer function and can't think straight.The most difficult part,is just getting out of bed each morning that comes our way...Very emotional,and beautiful read Terrie.
|Terrie* (22.214.171.124) -- Saturday, July 9 2005, 05:19 pm|
the feelin's of a loss never go away, over time your heart help's you become stronger, my heart gets weak when i face tough times alone..but i have learned to adjust after 14 years..and yes i know he is there just as God stood there as my husband durin' these years of livin' and bein' alone, thanx Kit, for your lovely comment, just remember many of my write's of my husband are at least 14 years old..
|Terrie* (126.96.36.199) -- Saturday, July 9 2005, 05:24 pm|
thank you for such an endearin' comment it touched me more than you realize, i really do not expect any comments on any of my poetry, i am just happy that i am able to share a bit of my heart, if it wasn't me sharin' i'm sure he would.. i was soo blessed that my life was touched by such a love as his, thank you.
|Terrie* (188.8.131.52) -- Saturday, July 9 2005, 05:32 pm|
fear not my child, as i have started a 2nd full time job and may not be postin' as many as i like , one doesn't really know how they will deal w/death, if it wasn't for the many friends that i have and continue to remain in my life i would of never had made it alone,yes , the only thing that got me out of bed were my babies, ass they needed me to be able to funcion , how did i manage? i have a deep belief that i am a livin' testimony that God carried me the whole time , he gave me that strength. thank you for your comments. i apologize to the three of you to have caused my tears to come down from your eyes...
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