So Many Feelings
So many feelings bottled up inside,
but to describe them... I cannot.
I feel as if I am a ball of yarn
tangled, and knotted up
thrown aside, and forgotton.
If I could describe these feelings
deep within my heart it would take a lifetime.
I walk as if I am blind, I speak as if
no one hears... and I feel more then
these words could ever say.
Have I lost myself?
I need the numbness to take control
once more, these feelings are
to strong to cope with.
I still laugh, I still smile,
but this deep pain seeps into my being
causing me to crawl into the depths of darkness.
This horrible pain latches around my heart
pulling me down, almost to the
point I am drowning.
Have I gone to hell?
I know I've touched the burning
flames of heartache.
Did I die only to come back
confused, scared, alone?
If I could fly so far away it
would be to find freedom.
But how can I leave something
that follows me always?
This pain would find me, it would
hunt me down like a wild animal, and attack.
I am it's prey, it feeds off my soul.
I wish I could cut my heart out,
and sew in a new one.
One not broken, not shattered.
A heart that has never felt
such aching, and sadness.
I would be reborn, fixed, normal, NOT ME!
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