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I'm Trying To Say It, But Will It Come Out
Author: Britney

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I sit in the corner all alone
I feel so lost as cold as stone.
Sometimes I cry tears but I don't know
why. Everyday is like a new suprise
I don't know what's gonna be the new fuss.

I sit with friends and it seems as if
I could put on an act all day. Gosh I play
it off good I swear people seriously wouldn't
know if it was an act or the real truth.

To my friends I never studder or never lie
well to them if I ever explained to there
horror they would probably look at me like
nothing but a lie. To my family I seem happy
and cheerful full of life to be but deep down
inside it really isn't me.

I feel the tears rolling down my face as I
write this in words my heart is trying to say.
Does anyone understand me can anyone feel me out?
I feel like I could scream and shout. I feel
as if i'm already living death in the worst it
could come.

As you read this you probably shocked by
the words that are coming from this little
girl. I stay silenced to my self maybe why
I don't see my self in happiness. It's as if
I don't live realist and i'm in a portrait
that was just painted and i'm living inside of it
and know one know's this is real inside.

I'm drowning in my emotions. I feel lost
I feel in discomfort and I feel like a fraud
should I tell my loved ones? how i feel.I'm just
to scarred!!!!!!!!! Can anyone hear me can
anyone feel what i'm trying to say... I kinda
feel as if my words won't come out and your looking
at this like it's nothing to be looked at and felt....
I bet i'm speaking for quite a few people how i'm
feeling inside...welcome to my life...something i'm
trying to speak out...

I'm trying to say it... but will it come out?

------- Author's Notes -------

I guess this poem can speak for some people it speaks for me but if I ever came out and told my family and friends what I just said I wonder what they would think until I come out... I guess I can only question the truth.....

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Angel in Tears (81.157.217.222) -- Sunday, May 1 2005, 10:40 pm

Hey Britney

I know what you mean...Sometimes you can't tell between the lie you say and the truth of your feelings, only to be re-awaken of the horrid-rawness. Imagine if they all knew what good of an actress you are xp! Acting is a form of lying I always say, if you can lie then you can act! But people tend to believe what they want to think, even if you tell them the truth. But being hard on yourself, trying to suppress all of that inside will make you go mad! Speaking from experience x) Don't leave it until all of that you feel comes out in a wrong way. Say it now, with a sane mind, make them believe. Be a convincing actress xp, by telling the truth. Be kind to yourself, please. Don't sit in silence any longer my friend. Good luck my girl!
Terrie* (65.148.207.13) -- Monday, May 2 2005, 12:15 am

Britney

I Agree w/Angel In Tears 100% w/be honest in all you say and do, if not, in the long run it can back fire on you and it will be you, you hurt the most, just BE yourself,and most of all BELIEVE in yourself! like who you are and who you've become..let your innerself shout out ,show leadership stand proudly your number one. i got your back girl!
Britney (67.136.106.154) -- Wednesday, May 4 2005, 01:38 pm

Hi...

Well thanks for the comments. I try to be honest to my self and others I really try. I find it hard to let it go not the right moment to do this well at least I think.. I need more time. Lol Terrie gots my back... thanks alot you guys
 
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