)JOKES or FUNNY STORIES
by Dreamer » Mon Feb 10, 2003 1:43 am
<b> SUCCESS</b>
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . having sex.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . having sex.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
"I can't be in your shoes, But I can be by your side.. and hold your hand in friendship."
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
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Dreamer - Site Admin
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by Dreamer » Mon Feb 10, 2003 2:13 am
Once there was a mad scientist who worked by himself in his laboratory. He was so lonely that one day, he decided to clone himself. Everything worked perfectly, except that the clone had a very foul mouth. The scientist worked with the clone, but alas, he could not make the clone clean up his language. He got so tired of the clone's language that one day he pushed him off the end of a cliff. A policeman rushed up to him, and yelled "You are under arrest! You are under arrest!"
"What for?" the mad scientist asked. "Murder? Or would it be suicide?"
And the policeman's answer was, "Neither. It's for making an obscene clone fall."
(I can hear the groans all the way over here)
-Becky
"What for?" the mad scientist asked. "Murder? Or would it be suicide?"
And the policeman's answer was, "Neither. It's for making an obscene clone fall."
(I can hear the groans all the way over here)
-Becky
"I can't be in your shoes, But I can be by your side.. and hold your hand in friendship."
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
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Dreamer - Site Admin
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- Location: Indiana, US
by Dreamer » Mon Feb 10, 2003 2:15 am
One Groaner deserves another
An Irishman went to London for a visit to the circus. While
there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed
the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's
age.
The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain
terms.
The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the
elephant stamped its foot 9 times.
"Is that right?" he asked the boy.
"Yes, I'm nine!" the boy said.
The Irishman continued his loud heckling, still not believing
that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the
ages of several other people, and each time the elephant
stamped his foot and the people said he was correct.
The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the
man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the
Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his
age. The Irishman took him up on the wager.
The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned
around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe.
Then he turned back around, knocked the Irishman to the
ground with his trunk and then stomped on him twice.
The Irishman, crumpled and bleeding, staggered back to his
feet and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried,
"Mother of Mary, he's right! Farty-two!"
An Irishman went to London for a visit to the circus. While
there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed
the elephant could look at a person and tell that person's
age.
The Irishman was very skeptical and said so, in no uncertain
terms.
The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the
elephant stamped its foot 9 times.
"Is that right?" he asked the boy.
"Yes, I'm nine!" the boy said.
The Irishman continued his loud heckling, still not believing
that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the
ages of several other people, and each time the elephant
stamped his foot and the people said he was correct.
The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the
man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the
Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his
age. The Irishman took him up on the wager.
The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned
around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe.
Then he turned back around, knocked the Irishman to the
ground with his trunk and then stomped on him twice.
The Irishman, crumpled and bleeding, staggered back to his
feet and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried,
"Mother of Mary, he's right! Farty-two!"
"I can't be in your shoes, But I can be by your side.. and hold your hand in friendship."
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
-Scott Goober, (Boston Public)
-
Dreamer - Site Admin
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2002 4:37 pm
- Location: Indiana, US
by Luc » Mon Feb 10, 2003 8:05 pm
lol 
those were good....
heres one:
Q: when mary fell from the donkey joseph was guilding where was she heading?
A: to the ground.. o.0
those were good....
heres one:
Q: when mary fell from the donkey joseph was guilding where was she heading?
A: to the ground.. o.0
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Luc - Posts: 360
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- Location: somewhere
by Dreamer » Sat Feb 15, 2003 12:53 pm
During the course of being interviewed by the press, the
noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever
make a serious mistake?"
"Yes, was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire in three
visits!"
noted doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever
make a serious mistake?"
"Yes, was the reply, "I once cured a millionaire in three
visits!"
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Dreamer - Site Admin
- Posts: 594
- Joined: Wed Oct 23, 2002 4:37 pm
- Location: Indiana, US
dun get it..by Capricorn » Sun Feb 16, 2003 6:48 pm
A woman was walking down the road with her blouse open and her left breast out. She was approached by a policeman who said "Madame are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
"What do you mean?" she asked!
"Well, you are walking around with your blouse open and your left breast out!"
The woman screeeeeeamed! "Oh my God! I've left my baby on the bus!"
"What do you mean?" she asked!
"Well, you are walking around with your blouse open and your left breast out!"
The woman screeeeeeamed! "Oh my God! I've left my baby on the bus!"
Laughter is better than any medicine the doctor can prescribe.
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Capricorn - Posts: 115
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- Location: U.K.
by Luc » Sun Feb 16, 2003 11:17 pm
lol that was a good one
"The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is a substitute for intelligence." - Lyman Bryson
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Luc - Posts: 360
- Joined: Thu Nov 07, 2002 4:59 pm
- Location: somewhere
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