My Heart In Pain
27 February, 1997
author: Rebecca Ditch-Hammack (aka Dreamer)


Alone I sit by the computer screen
Alone I sit as others dream
To make it through just one more day
For a day of peace, this I pray

I close my ears as she pisses and moans
Always complaining and complaining, On and on she drones.
Over and over she twists the truth
Acting as though she's going through some abuse

Truth is that I'm the one abused
Daily hour by hour until I'm confused
What did I say and what did I do
I know it wasn't that.... I know this is true

Yelling and screaming I can't take much more
Each day I find myself running closer to the door
To get away without harming her flesh
She keeps pushing and pushing eventually we'll mesh

Oh Lord I pray that tomorrow brings rest
Instead of this incredible mind slam fest
I know she can't mean the awful things she yells
To replace the thing shes breaking, no store sells

She wishes me dead
She has often said
So silently I cry....
.....So silently I die

------- Author's Notes -------

Tired oh, soooooooo tired, as a puddle forms on the keys. The never ending hateful battle rages on. There can be no winner. Only Loss. Such Loss.
My mind is slowly bending deeper into a cave of sadness that I find so dark and alone. I sit, a little child huddled in a cold damp corner. Crying alone and scared. Why won't someone come and help me. I'm feeling lost. I need a hug.... a kiss..... a touch of reality....... I'm not feeling very strong anymore. The battle with her dragons has taken my strength. The wounds are reopened and blood pours forth upon the ground. I've ran and ran to get away, I've tried to reason, I've tried every way. But what's left is just an empty shell,...... the little girl cries so hard. And no one hears. She's alone in this cave, alone with her fears. What can I do next. I pray.. I pray... Please Lord God, Take this awful pain away.


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