Author: Pamela O'Brien
(In response to Seizure's poem "Still Falling")
Life is so dark, because there is no light
Because years ago, the human race lost the fight
And over time, we all knew we'd disappear
But we did not know we would be consumed by fear
We've faught life so much, to find ways to survive
Now that is all ending, we are all cursed to die
How much suffering, can the universe take?
I think that creation was just a mistake
Seems like yesterday, man was doing well
But today we've created a lonely hell
I wish that someone, could save us from fate
But looking around, its obviously too late
There's no such thing as family, or even friends
Not a soul will care, the day the world ends
We are all too tired, we gave all we could
It is never enough, because we felt more then we should
There was always hope until we fell too low
Friends and family became strangers, there's nowhere to go
Existence is hollow, there's too much pride
Everything is empty, nothing's left inside
Truth to be told, the fight is now long lost
Evil has purchased our souls without a cost
Frustration is building, I hear failure calling
Why bother blaming ourselves when its mankind that has fallen?
------- Author's Notes -------
Seizure - You have not failed the world, the world has failed you.
Comments on this poem/writing:
|Capricorn (18.104.22.168) -- Thursday, December 5 2002, 09:01 am|
A good response to Seizures poem Pam.I like the authors note aswell.. those words are so true! Take note Seizure!
|Seizure (22.214.171.124) -- Thursday, December 5 2002, 05:40 pm|
While I appreciate the effort, the only thing that stuck was your authors note. Why? Because I wrote half of this poem! It didn't say, "Seizure poem remade," it didn't say, "Inspired by the Seizure poem," and you didn't even ask me to use my work. It just says it's your response to my poem that I worked hard on. Some of my parts remained completely unchanged.
It's just that, if you hacked up one of my poems that wasn't personally important to me... such as "Today's Youth," or something, I wouldn't care. But "Still Falling" is where I'm at in life and I busted my ass to illustrate that there. Now it seems my message has been misconstrune completely.
I appreciate the effort Pam, I really do. I just can't listen to my own words being shot back at me. Hope you understand.
|Capricorn (126.96.36.199) -- Thursday, December 5 2002, 06:56 pm|
I have re- read Seizure's poem and I can now see how he feels.A poem to a poet is like a picture to an artist who would not like to see his painting copied with afew changes!
|Pamela (188.8.131.52) -- Friday, December 6 2002, 04:16 am|
I was only trying to show my understanding of your poem and my subtle differences at the same time. I didn't intend to copy. Sorry it made you feel that way. I should've asked first.
Won't happen again - I think I've worn out my welcome here.
|Seizure (184.108.40.206) -- Friday, December 6 2002, 05:25 am|
I understand what you were trying to do. I addressed that in my comment. I told you the only reason it didn't make the impact you wanted it to. I think if you re-read what I wrote, you will see I wasn't pissed off or anything.
And worn out your welcome how exactly?
|Seizure (220.127.116.11) -- Friday, December 6 2002, 05:39 am|
By the way Pam... I left a message in the forum for you... check it out.
|Capricorn (18.104.22.168) -- Friday, December 6 2002, 09:13 am|
Don't take it too personal Pam, I for one love reading your poems and feel your very welcome here. Us poets are a sensitive lot!
Click here to read other Poems by Pamela O'Brien
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