Treading In The Water Of Life
Author: Cheryl


Today I am overwhelmed
As I often am
To get through another day
By treading in the water of life

Some days I feel Iíll drown
The water is above my lips
I cannot take a breath
For it will fill my lungs

I cannot relax a little
For I will surely sink
And the water will gush into my nose
Oblivion is a desirable end

Some days I get reprieve
But it is very brief
Too much to do and not much time
Before I have to start again

I cannot make demands
To do that would be unfair
So I continue as I am
Treading in the water of life

I am not alone
In the sea where I am treading
My husband shares it too
We both find this so hard

Any added stresses
Bring us ever closer
To the brink of our despair
We can only do so much

What I am not doing
Often bombards me
My head is exploding
Iím barely coping as it is

Think me as unkind
I cannot do what others do
My resources are all depleted
As I drown in the water of life

------- Author's Notes -------

I am a mother of a severely disabled child. Life is hard and we just about cope. What's prompted this poem is issues that have been going on with my Mum. She says many things, not outright, but that which are indicative that she expects me to care for her in her old age. For instance, she reels off a list of people she knows who are caring for their mothers and she says they think it's easy. That may be so, but they don't have a disabled child to care for as well.

Since caring for my disabled child is all I can cope with, I cannot take on this task as well. Unfortunately, when I've tried to broach the subject with Mum, she's come out with things like, "If Dad dies first, just leave me in the room with the pills." She refuses to consider alternative care options or even my brothers, but then they suffer from a debilitating condition in that they possess a bodily part females do not have.


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