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Choose To Loose
28 December, 2005
Author: Dani

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I ask many questions
But only one thing comes to mind.
Why is it that I intend to be nice,
But end up being unkind?

That one thing made me think...
It's opened up a door.
Where one question becomes
many to wonder about forever more.

My uncle once said to me
"Your parents influence what you do."
I can understand that
And yes in a way it is true.

But he also said
"We choose what we feel."
Now hold on! Stop! Wait a f*cking minute!
I've been given the wrong deal.

If I choose how to feel,
Why do I choose to feel this way?
Why do I get such a rush
When confronted with dismay?

Do I choose to hate my life?
Do I choose to write every morbid thought?
Why do I choose to lie,
When I know i'm gona get caught?

Why do I chosse to be upset,
When all I want is some fun?
And why do I believe my life to be over,
Before it has begun?

I manipulate myself
into thinking I that I am strong.
How far from the truth...
It couldn't be to far from being wrong.

Why do I convince myself
and others that things are ok?
When in actual fact I loathe myself
And all I want to do is runaway!!!

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