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Last Night
25 July, 2006
Author: Tammy

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Last night I just couldn't sleep
thoughts lingered through my mind.
I tossed, and turned all night
wondering who really lied.

Was it really you dad, or has
mom not told the truth?
Did she make up all the stories
she told me in my youth?

I layed there last night
until tears poured from my eyes.
I couldn't understand why someone
would leave, and never say goodbye.

So many thoughts kept me awake
and still, I don't know what to believe.
Did mom not want you anymore, or
was it you who wanted to leave?

I wish I had the answers
to this story that puzzles me so.
If I knew the truth, then I
could finally move on.

But I will never know
what is truth or not.
All I know is daddy
I think of you quite alot.

It doesn't really matter
who wanted to leave or stay.
I just want the honest truth
so this hurting will fade away.

Last night I layed there
wandering who really lied.
Thoughts lingered through my mind
until tears poured from my eyes.

------- Author's Notes -------

My birth-father left when I was very young, and I really didn't understand he had left, until I got a little older, and I asked mom, why would he leave his children? Well to be honest I asked many questions, and all I got was... he wanted to leave, I was told many stories, And of course I was told by some of my mom's family members she didn't want him anymore. So many thoughts linger in my mind.

Maybe he abused her, maybe that's why she didn't want him, maybe he wanted to leave, but then again maybe he didn't.
For the reasons of his leaving, it could have been anything, but still I wonder.

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Sweetvenom (47.251.0.12) -- Thursday, July 27 2006, 03:36 pm

Full fledged feelings

Tammy, you have brought in a great deal of emotions mixed with unanswered queries.This is sad but your true worded emotions was good to read.Keep rolling your mind and pen them into poems.That would definitely give you some vent to your buried feelings.Thanks for sharing!
Tammy (66.38.4.242) -- Thursday, July 27 2006, 05:00 pm

Sweetvenom

Thank you so much for reading, and commenting on this poem...I have never been able to write about my father, but I am finding here lately the words are pouring out, there is still much more in me that I wish to share in words, but I haven't been able to yet. But writing about him, and his leaving has helped me.
poisonivy60 (216.77.193.204) -- Tuesday, September 12 2006, 05:12 am

Sad

Hello again Tammy...you poured our so much pain here within your words...writing does help ease the pain hun....
 
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