The Big C - Cancer
1 September, 2006
Author: Ben Franklin
Who would have thought the bastard
Would be back,
Just as we were getting our lifes back on track.
I remember the first time we found out you
Had cancer,
I got home from school and you broke down in front
Of myself and mum,
I was now dealing with adult issues
While the other kids were having fun.
I got back from Greece 3 months ago
To be told it's back again,
Those words brought back flooding memories of
So much pain.
I'm trying to stay strong
For my brother and Mum,
But the reality of it all has still not set in,
I feel uncomfortably numb.
My mother broke down at the kitchen sink
The other day,
I held her in my arms.
where is the support from all the other family members?
Just feels we are doing this on our own.
Mum just remember you still have a son here.
so dont ever feel alone.
I get home from work and he is incoherent and shaking,
It could be one of the many pills he is taking.
At times he does not seem whole,
The body is still in place
But its like he is missing his soul.
WE will beat this bastard again
Like we did in the past,
I'm just wondering how long these dark days will last.
------- Author's Notes -------
I wrote this at work and it was very painful doing so. My father has been treated very cruel over the years...if there is such thing as a past life then he must of been one hell of a bastard!!!! I'm trying to keep it togther, to be the "man of the house",but its killing me inside. I cried for the first time yeterday. I just couldnt hold it in any longer... yet I felt guilty? guilty because I was not being the MAN who was supposed to hold it togther. What has my dad done? f*ck all! yet there are people who lie, cheat, mug people and kill, and what happens to them? probably hit the f*cking lotto! I'm very disapointed with my mothers side of the family, a couple keep in contact everyday, but the others?..... how hard is it to dial 12 pissing numbers? I may sound bitter and twisted.... yes I am at this moment in time! Like I said, We will get through this, but to the people reading this, be thankful for waking up 2moz, be thankful that you have your health as well as your family, please..... just be thankful. Love you |
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Comments on this poem/writing:
| Meridian (71.241.15.210) -- Saturday, September 2 2006, 05:18 am Hey B! Sorry to hear that that dreadful, most despised monster is at it again. Personally, I hate cancer even though I was never a victim. It attacks the human body in so many different ways. Through the gastrointestinal part of the body, the inflammatory system, or etc... And it shows on a person's face overtime. The tiredness, the flinching when in pain. I've seen a lot cancer patients, whether at my mom's job or on television, and it makes you wanna cry at times being that these patients look so helpless. |
| Meridian (71.241.15.210) -- Saturday, September 2 2006, 05:25 am I admire your faith in that you say your father WILL beat the sickness. He WILL win this second battle. And I understand your questioning in regards to those why does it seem like the innocent suffer more than the fugitives, the rapists, the terrorists, those that are just sinister without a reason to be.... Life is a funny thing. It can always throw a curve ball at you when you aren't looking. It can always send you the unexpected when you aren't prepared. I just want you to know that I am behind you all the way in your belief. It's just a shame that we can't live forever, you know? |
| MAFLongfellow (4.131.54.151) -- Monday, September 4 2006, 03:07 am my boy friend is going through the same thing with his father. reality hasen't set in because the monster hasn't dug in yet. we will pray god stops it before before they suffer any more. good luck to us all ben. lifting u up to jesus |
| Ben f (84.13.177.176) -- Monday, September 4 2006, 07:06 pm Thanks to both of you...longfellow sorry to hear about your B/F's dad.thoughts are with him. |
| barb (67.58.199.148) -- Tuesday, September 5 2006, 01:17 am I wanted you to know I understand the anger and unfairness of all of it. good write,you got to vent out all your feelings,which is good. |
| Ben f (89.241.108.239) -- Tuesday, September 5 2006, 07:31 pm Thank you. |
| mallisa (69.92.150.22) -- Thursday, September 7 2006, 01:45 am im speachless i really dont know what to say but im sorry and i wish you the best that fate can give u |
| Ben f (84.13.34.246) -- Thursday, September 7 2006, 09:19 am Thank you.. |
| poisonivy60 (216.77.193.204) -- Tuesday, September 12 2006, 05:07 am Ben this is so sad hun..Just remember with God all things are possible...You will beat it again...And never feel guilty for crying...there's nothing wrong with that...it's not falling apart...it's the love you hold for your father and the fear of this dreadful disease..I had my on fight with cancer last year...4 surgery's and I an cancer free...well one type I am...Still have to go back and have another biophsy for the Basal Cell Carcinoma...and it is scary...so don't be afraid to cry...You and your family will be in my prayers |
| Ben f (82.27.206.117) -- Monday, February 5 2007, 10:31 am Thank you for your words of support, he beat the cancer but Has now lost his leg due to poor hygine in our hospitals and has Also caught the killer bug C-diif(a higher strain of MRSA).crying is a thing that is all to common with myself now. |
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