Shades Of Red
Author: Rick Ryckman
In the boldness of night do not dim your light.
I need to hear your enchanted murmurs resounding.
Let me feel the many colors of your passion.
Do not hesitate your colors of red.
Let me feel your quiet surrender.
Like the mist that leaves no scars.
Let me drift into twilight's splendid vibrations.
With this dream I have given my fragile heart.
Comments on this poem/writing:
|Bipedalguy (18.104.22.168) -- Wednesday, December 20 2006, 05:11 am|
Is it about a seduction scene? If I'm right your imagery is very creative and sensual. Your expressive technique is very good.
A more crude way to say it would be: "O.K. Babe, lets do the facts o' life". The lack of artistic subtleties and sensual nuance is very obvious in this relatively tasteless method of romantic expression. I'm only a male, but I suspect that your wording would be better received by the average woman than the example I have used.
|RIck Ryckman (22.214.171.124) -- Wednesday, December 20 2006, 05:54 pm|
With the candleflames - lighting up your room.
Yes it is a certain aspect of a seduction scene leading to making love to the women of your choice. So that she may see you standing in your nakedness with nothing to hide.
As far as the crude way goes! My mind just does not that think away!
But I will leave you with these few words to live by.
When I was a child,
I spake as a child,
I understood as child;
but when I became a man,
I put away childish things.
|Bipedalguy (126.96.36.199) -- Wednesday, December 20 2006, 07:51 pm|
The first line of the poem signifies the intended honesty and transparency of the encounter. (Nothing hidden)(This is the real me)(Accept me or reject me based on what I really am)
Re the last part of your comments: I am no longer able to speak as a child, but on my best day I can sometimes understand as a child, and on the rarest of my best days I can write as from the perspective of a child.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
|Rick Ryckman (188.8.131.52) -- Wednesday, December 20 2006, 10:13 pm|
When you stand in from of each other naked with no mental weapons and you tell her '' this is all that I am.'' As you sit to look each other in the eyes.
When I was child [ I looked on in awe at women -wondering what the first kiss would be like. I did not know what to say or how to say it! For I only understood as a child.
Low and behold I grew to become a man. Each man has his own time to reach manhood - at that time he puts away childish things.
|Bipedalguy (184.108.40.206) -- Thursday, December 21 2006, 12:40 am|
I have always felt that there are 2 sides to the experience of growing up. There are good things gained in growing up, but there are also good things lost in the process. One loss I would note was that some fun childhood things stopped being fun as a man. That time came way before I started having the experiences referred to in this poem. I realize that it's common, but the years from age 13 to age 23 were rough years. At 13 my childhood stopped, and at 21, my first day in the U.S. Army, I discovered, beyond any doubt, that I was a man. On balance I would have to admit that I'm glad I made it, but we all miss the good old days, when times were rough.
|barb (220.127.116.11) -- Saturday, January 6 2007, 04:23 am|
The writing is good. I didn't Like the way it portrays true love,when actually it is just describing sex,true love has nothing to do with sex,It's called love making, not sex making.
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