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Diary Reflection
31 March, 2008
author: Rebecca Ditch-Hammack (aka Dreamer)

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I've re-read the words of another time
Writ long ago, line after painful line
Day after day and night after night
I wrote of longing and depressions plight

Sex was the medicine for my longing
It was a way of feeling; of belonging
My fear of hurt kept me alone
Betrayal of trust was all I had known

Endless nights crying of how I was treated
Feeling somehow of love I was cheated
So far, I have come since those days
Of sex and drugs and living in a haze

But if I hadn't lived the life I did
Making the bad choices as a kid
I wouldn't be who I am today
Even though it sounds so cliche

I never gave up on the dream
No matter how it hurt my self-esteem
Today I'm in such a better place
Yesterday's steaming tears, now erased

------- Author's Notes -------

I came across some old diary entries. I re-read and re-lived my painful past. The things we put ourselves thru when we fear rejection. Keeping us from attaining the things we seek the most.

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Terrye* (67.187.237.233) -- Wednesday, April 2 2008, 03:48 am

Betrayal/Cheated of Love --Poof...

Gently Erased over Time--Sad is it not? --that we at some point must in our quest upon our Journey--experience the labor of pain... in order to achieve the finer fruits and find the true meanin' of unconditional Love ---
well expressed --
Meridian (72.218.113.25) -- Friday, April 4 2008, 02:14 am

Meaningful

Hey Dreamer! This poem is so good. So in depth. Very relatable to me, but in a different way...
LinzAy (72.189.15.210) -- Monday, April 7 2008, 04:01 pm

...

Made me think of just recently finding my old diary entries of how hard my childhood was. Good poem!!
 
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