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Yardwork Adventure
Author: GregO

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I transformed myself into a dark knight of botanical destruction. An anti-paladin against all forms of rampant chorophyl based life! Dawning my gauntlets of grassy green death (+5 mowing), with my faithful war hound at my side, I stormed into the wall of nature's might. I armed myself with my trusty siege engine, a whirling, cutting tornado of razing death.

A most lengthy battle ensued. Time and time I was driven back to my keep, to replenish my flagging strength with beer and tuna fish sandwiches. But alas, I was NOT going to give up.

My hound, my machine, and I dove into the dense jungle of Greg's backyard again and again. Thistle plants poked and jabbed at me like platoons of medieval pikemen. Strangling razor-sharp blackberry vines snared and tangled at my legs, clutching and coiling like voracious spiny octupi! Then things got even more dire! Gaea pulled out all the stops and resorted to biological warfare! Fluffy seed pods and pollen spurted into the air, a thick dense miasma of choking asthmatic horror! My lungs strained and heaved as I fought through with sheer animal willpower. I AM THE MASTER! YOU WILL FALL! DIE DIE DIE!

And then suddenly.....it was over.....and all was quiet......and my lawnm..er, siege engine was out of gas. And I had won.

But the battlefield was strewn with debris, and in need of much raking and restoration. But someday....in the near future.....it will be a monument. A place of beauty. Dedicated to the struggle fought this day. And all shall remember it as they eat hotdogs and hamburgers from my barbecue.

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Comments on this poem/writing:

anonymous (71.217.49.52) -- Wednesday, July 23 2008, 04:18 am

Great-O!

I like this kind of poem. Thanks! I need the inspiration. I got a war to do myself. Hehe, you are going to die now, I'll cut you down to size, all you monsters! Keep up the good work, in your yard too. Greg-O!
GregO (71.236.223.66) -- Monday, July 28 2008, 06:38 am

:D

Thanks :D

Glad you enjoyed it.
Tarna (72.20.191.55) -- Monday, July 28 2008, 10:21 am

Ah the victory!

I know the feeling.. I feel my own personal war coming again as soon as the rain finishes again I will man my machine and do battle with nature myself... great enjoyable write... And welcome to dreamer's
Bipedalguy (65.96.237.196) -- Monday, July 28 2008, 02:40 pm

Watering the lawn

Did you ever notice that if you wait for rain (to green up the lawn) it never comes. The way to make it rain is to get out the hoses and sprinklers. Murphy's Law kicks in and it rains for a week just to show you that you got the watering gear set up for nothing.
 
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