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This Is Me 2009
Author: LinzAy

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I've known false love and met certain realizations
I then met true love and somehow met detestation
As much as I tried I couldn't gain trust or happiness
So I left and drowned myself in alcohol and loneliness
Everything I did and said was viewed as wrong by the man I loved
But he was no longer mine and he heard some false things, so it was something I didn't think much of
I never use to put myself out there afraid of what people would see
Until I knew love and how badly I thought we were meant to be
I practically begged, repeatedly pushed away, learning what I always should have known
Go out there and try for it-the worst that could happen is you'll be told no
I then turned to friends finally escaping my solitude
I allowed them to help me smile-though sometimes false, but it helped me through
After months of crying and longing for one man
I finally let go realizing I now know what and who I am
Even though I was weak I survived and it made me strong
I'm smart and capable, loving and cared for even when I may be wrong
I have great friends that love my smile and see my beauty within
It doesn't matter what someone never saw, it's their loss-no longer my burden
I'm finally at a place in my life for the first time ever
I can finally say I'm happy and have learned you can "never say never"
I have a beautiful heart to give but I've got to be selective
It crumbled into too many pieces before-I may now be overprotective
I'm finally back to my normal weight (lost a few sizes when I was sad)
I don't hold onto the past anymore I now look forward to what I can have
I've met people and made connections with CEO's and Stars
Jumped at things that before I never would have and it's gotten me pretty far
I really wanted my first child by the time I was 25
This happens in June-not even in a relationship, but at least I'm still alive
I'm afraid of hurting the way I have, of escalators and being choked
I love movies, my devil kitty, and am always ready for a good joke
I kinda fell off a roof last year and went skinny dipping in a pool
And last year, a lot, I referred to myself as an idiot and a fool
I know what I want and need in friendship, family and love
I also know the world is mine to take and I am able to do whatever I dream of
I'm thankful for the life I have, thankful for what I've learned
Looking back at myself a year ago...Oh, how the pages of my life have turned.

------- Author's Notes -------

Going through DR's message forum I came across a thread that someone started bc of a poem she read of mine...figured it was time for an update on me :)

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