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Bed Of Lies
30 April, 2009
Author: Luke Mudge

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A reflective look at the ground as curiosity overwhelms my state of being, driven by the constant targeting, the way one truly realizes their insecurities by self indulging their lives into others.

It's not funny, nor quaint, it's something that irritates me so much that sometimes I sit and laugh at it with a chuckle.

You put so much time and effort into portraying an immortal mental being that you think you've become. Though in reality, you take all of your faults and poured them onto other people that are closest to you. Never once were you the perfect specimen that you wish you were, never once were you that person that you think you see when you look in the mirror. The absolute only time you were even remotely close to this distorted image you glance at every morning, was before you went away, before life was too much for you to deal with, before you took that plunge into something, I for one have and will always disagree with.

If you take what you are now, it's simple. A small magazine article printed in the lower left hand corner by the flap of a page. That in most magazines is worn out before the reader even opens to it by the creases of the paper. The most pathetic close minded person that sees only in black and white when in reality there is a gray. You turn away from the gray, because your entire life has been filled with it. Taking a story of somebody else, that somebody who is truly you and distorting it to sound completely the opposite for when you get home back to what matters. That my friend is something your don’t anymore, is matter to anyone. That conversation about the person nobody truly enjoys being around because of many reasons, you’re that and more. That is something your family though sadly is as well. You my friend have sunk to that low level of scum that not even a slug would gather upon. And for that, you are pathetic.

Self indulged with images of the perfect person, that life that you don’t have and can't have. Your level of insecurity seeps through your pours and mouth every time you open it. Taking away the true matters of life like friends and family, you honestly have no idea that you've washed yourself away from that shore of realism.

I do not feel sorry for you. More ashamed than anything, you disgust me. Knowing that all you are is a backwards talking, mind numbing idiot. You take the belt in that bout; nobody is as low as you. Giving up on what truly matters in life, what is supposed to always be there for you. Taking that out of the equation, but not because you thought you physically were doing that, But because you think just as your family thinks, we are naive to every notion you conceded nothings throw toward us.

Those images of people with zero class, maybe a few teeth sitting behind their imported car in some yard at a car show, and then that Asian model that isn’t wearing any clothes and is leaning over upon the car. You don’t come close to even the little bit of sweat that might be falling off of the chin of the slutty nothing that is considered a fallen model, one that has to resort to that because they don’t know anything else.

Perfectly fine, I gave several chances, each and every chance you proved to me that you were scum baked upon the roof of some bodies un brushed mouth. Proved to my family that you've dug a deeper whole that you can get out of. I grew up with somebody that to this day I have deep dread for; this "kid" was trying to be everything that I was while trying to convince me that I was everything he was not and could never be as great as he "was". When I turned 18, a decade ago I had thought that I’ve seen the last of pathetic squirmers like that. No no no, my friend, you and this guy would be best friends; you don’t just jump into the category. You replace his name in the dictionary for that exact meaning. Dissolved by your own pity, drowning in your own mind, trying to find a way to some dry level of sanity, you've managed to toss away anything that could possibly keep you safe.

Tell me again who I am, tell me again how well you truly know me, I'm "just Luke", it's "just Luke", ha!, well "just Luke" has always told it like it was, is completely honest, and wow there’s no song in my life’s background called "true colors" never have I ever, told it like it wasn’t, no need to cover up my life with pointless stories.. Sucks when the world is falling down upon you because you can’t hide from every single compulsive lie that you've covered up your pathetic life around.

------- Author's Notes -------

This is a rant I wrote about a person very close to me, and this is what happens to me when I find out their entire friendship was based upon a lie.

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