What will be going through my mind once I’m there is how long it took me to get there; what I will not miss; and what I left behind while there. My mind will also run with the goals I wish to endeavor and how hard it is for “me” to succeed in this life. I dream to beat all odds. I will look at me and those like me – those who have my hair, my eyes, my skin – and fight even harder to accomplish one hurdle after the next. It isn’t easy being me in this nation and it isn’t easy being me in this world. I realize that I’ll always have to scrape to be well off, because of certain people in authority and complex rules.

However, my mother is right. I’ve always had the tenacity of a pit-bull. Despite challenging and tough tasks, I haven’t been known to quit; no matter what it is. The good thing about my forthcoming hurdle is that I will not be alone. The young men and women on my left and right will be suffering with me. We’ll all be working as a team to pass each course. I refuse to get halfway to my blessing to turn from it. I want it as much as anyone. But I want it for more than one reason. I want to be new and different physically and mentally when it’s over. I want to be changed emotionally as well. I want to prove that “I” am just as good as the next person, because I want more out of life economically, academically, vocationally and residentially. I want what some people already have without trying as hard. I want what some people are guaranteed to have for perverted, ethnic reasons. The truth is ugly and there’s no denying it. I will enter with a strong mindset. I will focus on the positions I desire in life, my eyes narrow and face tight with seriousness and super, gripping determination.

I am tired of living my life fighting just as hard as others and still losing. I wish certain hard truths weren’t reality because of what I am and what I was born. But in spite of what I have no control over, I do grin. I grin wide because I believe God will not forget about me and my heartaches. I am working hard every day to do better as I practice; practice makes perfect. I keep a log and record my times after practice. I jot down self-help, mental notes, which can help me in the long run. My plan is to stick with this action; I feel more responsible and organized when I keep track of events, times, quantity, dates and days.

I know achieving what I want may be as hard as or even harder than my challenges in the past, but I am no stranger to failed tests. I’ve failed many – some multiple times in a row. Still, that didn’t stop me from working even harder to improve. Besides, I’ve accomplished goals I never thought I’d accomplish and the blessings were abundant. And I don’t mind receiving more than what I ask for. I just want to hold on on my way to getting to where I want to be. When I am at where I want to be and what I want to be, I want to maintain those achievements. I want them to be lifetime.

While, it’s true that most trials are sour once in, they’re also victoriously sweet once out.