Another nightmare,
of fear and pain,
lingering in the dark,
like mist after rain

Flashes of half rememberance
terror made real
innocence taken
unable to feel

Two haunting questions
that could change my path
"Was I a victim?"
"Could it have been my Dad?"

Bile rises,
Denial sets in,
Stoic refusal
The truth hidden within

Would knowing make it better?
Or rip my reality?
Answer my questions?
Or slowly kill me?

The fear is choking,
It's easier to forget
But once put in the air,
hard to take back

Sleep will not come
Not to this wary frame
These doubts occupy me,
Fill me with shame

It's best to not know
A choice made in haste,
it will do me no good
To entertain this dark place

Shutting my mind down
I drown it in drink,
Until I black out,
Nothing else to think.

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