Can I Count On Anyone
What happens when your tears fall to the ground?
They carry all your feelings and fall without a sound.
An emotional leak from the pain within.
The feeling of blood trying to escape your skin.
Never once have i doubted the mistakes i've made.
The nights I lied in bed and prayed.
Someone, something save me from the things i do.
Help me back to the life I once knew.
Can I count on someone to be there when im at the end?
Someone I can look in the eye and call my friend.
Can I count on someone to reach out there hand?
Somebody who will help me understand.
Don't let me drown in my own tears.
Please don't leave me alone with my fears.
Don't get me wrong, I dont want your sympathy.
I just want you to be there for me.
You can't feel sorry for someone who doesn't feel sorry for themself
Comments on this poem/writing:
|Stacey (126.96.36.199) -- Wednesday, January 14 2004, 10:44 pm|
I absolutely loved this one. Great job Ev !
|Ash (188.8.131.52) -- Thursday, January 15 2004, 02:08 am|
I loved this poem. I've never read anyhting from u, but this was amazing. Great job
|everett (184.108.40.206) -- Friday, January 16 2004, 03:39 am|
thanks Stace & Ash. I appreciate your kind words. im glad you enjoyed my writing :)
|Tarna (220.127.116.11) -- Friday, January 16 2004, 06:05 am|
Lovely poem.. minus the end part
I think the poem could have done without the last line. I guess because it seems like a later added after-thought. And because I don't tend to agree with the feeling sorry for oneself. Until I got to that part I didn't feel the writer feeling sorry for himself but instead.. rather sad. I guess to me those words mean more like someone saying "oh poor me".
Perhaps a better word would have been sad. Or the whole sentence, powerful enough statement by itself, ommited from this poem.
Just my thoughts.... Tarna
|Brenda (10.12.239.16) -- Friday, January 16 2004, 09:27 pm|
well i seem to think that it is really good, Tarna, have you ever felt sorry for yourself?? most likly you have, and i know this poem isnt about feeling sorry for yourself it is just about needing help from someone.... i guess you just took it the wrong way...
great poem EV
|everett (18.104.22.168) -- Friday, January 16 2004, 09:49 pm|
Thanks Brenda @~~~ love you too
Thanks Tarna for the "lovely poem" part. I respect your opinion although what your telling me is to change my own writing. if i didnt feel that last line would have fit i wouldnt have put it in there obviously. Its fine that you have your opinion but i dont think its right to tell someone to rewrite a line in there own poem. but hey thats just me
|Lady Eryemil (22.214.171.124) -- Sunday, January 18 2004, 04:26 pm|
Sometimes the fear of peoeple feeling sorry for you makes you push away the one that are really there for you, if you wrote the poem from personal experience watch out for that.
|LinzAy (126.96.36.199) -- Sunday, February 22 2004, 09:34 pm|
I think I have a new favorite! This poem is awesome Ev! One of your best!!
|everett (188.8.131.52) -- Monday, February 23 2004, 08:56 pm|
Hey Linz! thank you, im glad you liked it! i really appreciate your reply :)
|Tammy (184.108.40.206) -- Wednesday, March 24 2004, 06:00 pm|
I think this poem is awesome.....I have had these days many of times. I understand the last part, I think we all have been there once or twice in our life, maybe some more then others. This is totally a awesome poem!!!!!!!
|everett (220.127.116.11) -- Wednesday, March 24 2004, 08:17 pm|
im glad you understand where im coming from in this poem. thanks for reading and for your comment! :)
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