Sad. Helpless. Unable to do a damn thing for my cat, and he is in some sort of great distress. We think he may have eaten somehing, but don't know what. He has thrown up everything in the world, and now is just crying. He's crying so damn pitiously that it hurts, because we have no money, esp for X-rays. And you would need those, likely. Also no money for any kind of treatement. So if it's going to kill him, then we will be here and watch him die and we will hate ourselves.
We should never have gotten cats at all, anyway, I guess. We live from SS check to SS check to VA check, and we are just a step ahead of the bills as it is, so there is no money saved, nothing on a credit card... nothing to help Hunter. This is just so damned unfair to him. And it's our fault, I guess, for not being able to take care of him when he needs it most of all.
This hurts, more than I can handle.
It just fucking hurts.
God, does it ever hurt.
And he is still crying. And his eyes, when he cries and looks at you.... and you can not do anything to help him. And we're supposed to be able to help him, take care of him, but all we can do is let him suffer and cry.... and whatever else is going to happen will happen.
I hate myself.