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Now Or Then Or When
Author: Shiloh

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I think that I can almost remember…
And I’m trying to remember…
Wish I could be sure….
But not even sure of what I want to remember…
It was back when I was a kid…
When everything was still ahead of me…
And I almost remember how it felt then…
Almost remember how I thought about things…
Almost is only good in hand grenades
And nuclear warfare.

What if was also a good one then…
What if this was thus…
What if something else were to happen…
What if things went this way instead of that way…
What if I could remember what I almost remember…
Would it make any difference now?

Why do I have this insane desire to know?
Why do I think I have to remember?
I was going along, just a few minutes ago,
Perfectly content, not doing any thinking…
Then I started to think.
What if I hadn’t done that?
What if I hadn’t started to think again?
I was almost there, almost content,
And I had to go and ruin that.
And now that it’s there, or here,
For me, now that I see it…
I have to find out why I have to find out.

What if I never find out?
Would that make any difference anytime soon?

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