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Time Used To Be On My Side
Author: Shiloh

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When did it change?
How did it change?
Somewhere, at some time,
it all changed.
I never noticed it happening,
never thought it would happen,—
I thought that I had all I needed…
I thought that I had all the time
in the world.
Didn’t know that what I had
was all the time that was given to me,
and that it was limited.
No, I never thought about that being the case.
But now,
now that I’m in my September, anyway,
maybe later, maybe a bit earlier,
now that it’s that part of the year
of my life,—
Now… now I think about it.
Now.
Hell, I remember when I used to think
that thirty was old.
And I couldn’t imagine how it must be
to be forty, or even, …fifty?
I remember looking at all the time ahead,
all the time in the world,
all mine…
as if I had an endless supply of time.
And I thought I did.
While things were not so wonderful for me
back then,
I thought that things would be much better,
down the road,
in time.
Everyone has their dreams,
and I had mine,
and I knew that they would come true,
with enough time to work them through.
Time.
That was some time ago.
That was back when time seemed to stand still,
and there was all the time in the world,
just waiting there for me.
It took time to go from those innocent days
to reality.
From then, to now…
and now all that time has passed.
Time has gone by.
Quite a bit of time, in fact.
I’m a septuagenarian now.
(I had to look that up!)
And that gives me pause to think,
which maybe I should have done more of earlier.
But I thought I had enough time for that.
Don’t know what is waiting around the corner,
or how many sleeps there still are,
but Time is a relentless beast,
sparing no one,
without any comfort,
and the thoughts of having time enough for later,
well, those thoughts were just wrong.
I don’t know how to end this one…
I guess I’ll have to wait for a while,
to think of a good ending for this…
I’ll give it some time,
and with a bit of luck,
I’ll think of how to end it.
I just need a little time……..

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