Author: Ashley R
I was talking to Paul tonight,
And his dad said, "Doesn't she have friends of her own?"
and i wanted to scream with all my might.
Instead, i just hung up the phone.
There was something about that line
that had triggered something in my mind.
For me to cry tear after tear,
did he think i wouldn't hear?
I cry like this everyday,
all because of what people say.
They don't realize that i cry, though.
I guess you can say i put on a good show.
As i'm there on the phone crying,
Paul asks if i'm okay,
I say yeah, but he doesn't know i'm lying.
As i try to eat my problems away.
I know they won't disappear,
by eating another 'Payday'.
So, i shed one more tear.
I feel fat, after eating the entire bag.
I know at first, i will gag.
But sooner or later, my body has to give.
Bulimic Nervosa is the only way i know how to live.
My boyfriend was the only one who knew.
I guess you guys now know too.
This so called "Eating Disorder" i have, i don't regret.
But why the f**k do you care? We never met.
You have no reason to care.
Its only my life story that i am willing to share.
but you only know half the tale.
Sitck around and ill soon unveil.
My ex-boyfriend cheated on me.
He said he loved this one girl more.
Come to find out, she was known as the biggest whore.
But who cares now?
That was a year ago.
I just cant see how
he wanted a hoe?
But now i'm dating this one guy.
He's outgoing and i am shy.
He has great qualities,
except for he doesn't talk to me.
I call him on the phone,
So then we can talk, just us alone.
But when he doesn't pick up the line,
one question pops into my mind:
Why doesn't he wanna have a conversation?
Without him, it's like i'm dying from suffocation.
Doesn't he realize that i need him around?
Without him, it's feels like i'm already dead.
That i've been buried into the ground
from a gunshot to the head.
We did talk yesterday,
but not for long.
There wasn't much to say.
Sometimes i wonder if there's anything wrong.
My brother calls me obesed
but he'll regret it, once i am deceased.
He says when i walk, it's like earthquakes in the ground.
But how can that be when i'm only 92 pounds?
At school one day,
this kid walked into me
when i was in the hallway.
Apparently, he didn't see.
Either that, or he just didn't care.
He didn't even say sorry, but he did give me a glare.
Like it was all my fault.
I wish this sh*t would come to a hault.
When something goes wrong for you,
I"m the first one you blame,
Cause it"s the easiest thing to do.
You know what? F**k off. You don't even know my name.
Just like you, no one else seems to care either.
Except for this one guy.
His name,his name is Seizure
Comments on this poem/writing:
|Seizure (18.104.22.168) -- Wednesday, December 17 2003, 05:21 pm|
It really illustrates several points of your life. Someone that didn't know you should now have a pretty good understanding. Good job.
Thanks also for the shout out.
|Ashley R. (22.214.171.124) -- Wednesday, December 17 2003, 11:49 pm|
Thanx for the comment. You know it means a lot.
Click here to read other Poems by Ashley R
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