Everyday its the same
Same old pain
I feel so ashamed
Trapped in the dark
Wishing to be free
I don't even know the real me
Wanting to get ahead
But holding back instead
Every night dreaming Ive reached for the stars
When reality kicks in I'm back behind bars
Always struggling to hold back the tears inside
Always trying to hide tears of sadness
Tears of pain
Tears of knowing its always been the same
Always hiding in the dark
Scared to be me
Sadness is my reality.....
Comments on this poem/writing:
|luc (188.8.131.52) -- Monday, March 31 2003, 01:28 am|
a few lines that i really liked.. every night dreaming i've reached for the stars when reality kicks in im back behind bars.. and of course the last line.. your a good writer keep on writing..
|megzy (184.108.40.206) -- Thursday, May 1 2003, 09:05 pm|
this poem really related 2 me... especially holding back the tears. its like that for me... holding back.. saying nothing... i want to change but i cant its so hard. thankz 4 the gr8 poem!! =)
|Loïe (220.127.116.11) -- Monday, May 19 2003, 03:01 am|
Hmm...I'm actually quite fond of this theme. I'm not too fond however of your grammar. For example, when you wish to mean it is, please use it's instead of just its. There were various other little things like that that I noticed. I really enjoyed the 'stars...back behind bars...' or whatever stanza. (Sorry, it just won't let me copy and paste the exact line) This is a good amateur beginning poem. It's obvious you put a lot of heart into your work. Good work and keep learning.
|RinRin (18.104.22.168) -- Saturday, June 21 2003, 01:45 am|
if it comes straight from the heart..i don't think grammar matters. i absolutely hate structure in poetry!! that's why a lot of my poems don't rhyme, and a lot of them probably don't have very good grammar...don't look at the mechanics...look at the talent!
|RinRin (22.214.171.124) -- Saturday, June 21 2003, 01:46 am|
by the way, leah, great poem!! hehe..forgot to say that..
|anonymous (126.96.36.199) -- Tuesday, September 16 2003, 05:15 am|
you ppl probably posted your comments on my poem a long ime ago but thanx!
|Leah (188.8.131.52) -- Friday, December 19 2003, 08:11 am|
to loie damn right i pit heart in my work and don't label me an ameture just cuz i don't use proper sophicistacted grammar! if you want to comment on ppl's poem comment on it for waht it is dont find all the damn flaws and yes it is good work....they are not good enough for you they may not be perfect with perfect english but hey are damn good enough for me(snip)
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