Why Didn't You Try
16 February, 2003
Author: Melissa
Lying in this bed in the hospital
Not doing so good...
You never came to visit me
Not even once.
The doctor said my oxygen was dropping bad.
Were you sad?
I think you were just glad.
My mom was there with me.
But why couldnt you be there too?
What if i died that day?
Would you have cried?
Would you have tried to make you life right
or still make my mom fight for her life?
Would you have felt sorry for not visiting me?
I dont think you would.
Being on drugs and alcohol nearly 24/7
Makes someone Brain-dead, useless, abusive, and violent.
A person just like you.
I Was a little girl ~ I could have died.
But you didnt try
Didnt try to come visit me.
You never showed you cared...
You were never there.
Lyin in this bed at the hospital wondering
"will you even try"
Try to come visit me?
"is he going to try"
Getting weaker and wondering
wondering "am i going to die"
------- Author's Notes -------
i know this aint the best poem, matter of fact i dont think its a good poem. It just tells that when i was a little girl in the hospital, fighting for my life, the only people that was there for me was my mom and doctor and the preacher. I thank them for that cos without them there i would probably be on oxygen permantely for life, or possibly could have died. And while i was in the hospital not once did my dad come visit me and as a little girl i |
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Comments on this poem/writing:
| Martin Vann (65.57.59.155) -- Thursday, February 20 2003, 09:28 pm Melissa I cannot say why your father was not there, you spoke the feelings of your heart, yet, I think, there is more you have not said about your father, why he was not there. While you lay in bed, feeling the breath of the horror called death. Listen to me, Melissa, had you been my baby girl, I would have been there, been there for you. Had you left, part of me would have traveled with you, the part which is my love for you, the largest part of me, actually. We, you and I would have flown together, past death's ugly frown and home, to his crown. Yet still I think, there is more that you should share with me, about your father. You know, why he wasn't there, don't you? Tell us "your" words and not your mother's. MartinV, Always there for my daughter! |
| Melissa (152.163.188.165) -- Saturday, February 22 2003, 05:37 am hey... if i knew why my father was never there for me i would tell you. All i can think of is that since he was an alcoholic and drug user he didnt know anything, but how to beat my mom and try killing her. Yea i got a lot of anger in me from him yet. I dont think it will ever go away. What do you mean " tell us "your" words and not your mother's." if you think those are my mothers words, uh no they aint. In fact she doesnt even know that i write poems or whatever. she dont know. I dont have plans telling her, cos i dont want to tell her or anyone really. I just post em on here. |
| Martin Vann (67.75.180.33) -- Monday, February 24 2003, 09:52 pm Melissa, Thank you, and I apoligize for asking more of you. I feel you have great anger and you have great love, clever of me to notice the anger. You feel it and rightly so, didn't know he beat your mother, so much more you shared with us, of your sole today. I/we only asked for more so that we can understand, you made it clear and now we know. I can say "I" understand, now. How courageous you are to share this with us. Many of us have been where your are and understand! With respect & gratitude to you! Martin Vann |
| Melissa (152.163.188.165) -- Friday, February 28 2003, 04:07 am Hey, it's no problem. Yea i aint going to deny that i have a lot of anger in my from my so called dad. Anger comes and goes in me. If you know what i mean. I really cant explain it. And the anger will never go away. Only when it might go away is when he's out of this world cos then i wont have to get up each day wondering why he never makes an attempt to contact me. Then i will know why, and wont have to worry, then again i might have to worry. Worry about why didnt he try to make it right w/ me before he died. I dont know okay. But the anger wont ever leave. thanks. *Melissa* |
| Martin Vann (65.57.61.136) -- Friday, February 28 2003, 05:30 pm Melissa, I don't have an answer, however, this is for you to think about, just think about it. You see far enough down the road and know that one day your Dad will die. You also indicate? that is may bother you still, once he is gone, that he never told you why. Here, it is, save yourself fome future pain, I think you have had enough for several life times. You have the courage to share this pain with us, is there anyway, you have the courage/stamina, that you can speak with, confront what ever you want to call it, but contact him and just get it over with. If, nothing else, the potential for future remorse will be small, because, for one, last time, YOU tried again. This is for you, understand? not him, but you. Now, if, my nose has grown too long, I apoligize, but since I do care about you, no reason for me not, you are part of our family of Poets. Respectfully, Martin Vann. |
| Melissa (205.188.208.137) -- Saturday, March 1 2003, 09:47 pm I understand. How can i confront him and tell him when i tried that before and he was too busy to listen to me ~ his own daughter. Once he dies, i wont feel no more pain cos the reason i feel pain is cos he puts it on me. You may or may not understand but maybe some day you will. thanks *Melissa* |
| Martin Vann (63.208.61.124) -- Sunday, March 2 2003, 06:24 pm I beleive you have done and tried all you can, that is from my point of view, the important thing. Martin Vann |
| Melisa (152.163.188.165) -- Tuesday, March 4 2003, 01:40 am I know, i did all i can do, and now there is nothing i can do, i wish there was tho. |
| Christine (205.188.208.107) -- Sunday, August 31 2003, 02:44 am That poem made me cry, cuz almost two years ago, I was in the hosiptal, and my father didn't even try to come see me, I was very badly sick...And I just wanted to say I felt every word in the poem and it's very good work.... |
| Melissa (129.1.33.29) -- Thursday, September 4 2003, 11:01 pm Oh, yea i was badly sick too, and um almost died but my father dont care. Still dont care bout me, I dont care anymore bout him. Hope u get better. |
| Christine (152.163.252.101) -- Saturday, September 6 2003, 02:09 am Yeah I know wut ya mean, my father doesnt lift a finger to try and see me....and I also could of died in the hosiptal, but that was two years ago...But he had the prefect chance to come to see me but didnt, and he is always making up excuses of why he can't.....So I feel your pain.... |
| Ashley (66.53.138.170) -- Monday, October 6 2003, 01:13 am That was a good poem. Pretty sad. But i understand how you felt |
| shruti (205.188.208.135) -- Sunday, October 26 2003, 01:00 am hey how r u guys so dont worry ur not the only one im 11 something has been bothering me since i was in second grd that was yr of 1999 n i very upset for 6 yrs but this think that botherin gme wont end cuz of the grl n ma daddy |
| someone out there.... (206.77.96.2) -- Friday, December 12 2003, 08:46 pm hey...i was just on the internet looking at some poems for a project and i got so attached to all of yours.what made you actully wont the whole world to kno all about your life woth ur father?... |
| Melissa (129.1.33.50) -- Wednesday, January 14 2004, 12:22 am nothin made me want the whole world to know about my poems. i just put my poems on here to share with other people if they wanted to read them, and because if i have them on my computer at my house or just in my stuff for school my mom and step dad will read them and i dont want them two knowing that i write poems because they will be mad that i write the way that i do, i aint supposed to even write about my real dad but i still do and if my mom and step dad found them they would be really mad at me for writing these poems. |
| stephanie (209.215.20.220) -- Friday, June 24 2005, 04:20 am neither of my parents were in my life ever and in some way i know how u feel i am 18 and have been on my own since i was 7 and have taken care of someone my whole life and i am still angry and i can't express mine and i think u did a great job |
| Melissa (65.189.250.245) -- Thursday, December 8 2005, 05:55 am i'm 19 now, i am angry yet but i am trying to put it all behind me, i am talking to my real dad a little bit now but very little...I've been on my own for awhile too, even though my parents where there doesnt mean i wasnt on my own. When i turned 17 my mother kicked me out of the house - she didnt like that i was dating a guy that was 24 at the time. Well to this day i am on my own i live with that guy he is now 26 will be 27 in march, my mom loves him to death now. But things are getting a little better, i talk to my mom now too. things will get better for you too. maybe you should write down how you feel that might help that is what i do when i am angry and upset. it doesnt have to sound good |
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