Is a funny thing
no really it is.
someone else inside your head
glad to be in your head
ready to be inside your bed
but only if a part of you
will let him come inside of you

so i sat and wondered why
myself came to me and cried
know why u ignored me
so now i take whats rightfully mine

now i weep for i thought i right
but in my great plight i found a sight
a mere glimpse of what yet can still be.
a part of me broken and weary taken down
in the illusion the rest of me a token,
trying to stand the tide of illusion, and pain
trying to be the hero in this time of need fighting with everything


it has to stop the traitor and keep me out of his hands.
Alas, I fall to his cunning, and all though i realize there is something
a bit fish i cannot control myself, but i am.
For he merely leads me in directions with his illusions
he leads me to believe false realities,
and realities of false, but my confidence broken
my will falling apart i could do nothing
not even feel with my heart.

Now I cradle most the one feeling i can muster
the feeling of Fear all through my self
When the fear comes i cradle it and hold it welcome
I challenge him to come for me, and want to end it.
I try to fight with images of delight dancing in my mind
from his attempts to distract my mind.

Pleasures of the flesh is he obsessed,
tricks of the mind is his delight
anger and rage are his left and right.
For he feels he must prove he is better than I
and take one for his prize.
He plays by his own set of rulez,
and now thanks to Nat for helping me realize his pull.

He has been here a while
but only recently has he came out and took his control
by leading me in places i would never go.
And by taking others of those around me
and making them go in places forbidden by there souls,
but there souls sit and watch and accept it as a choice
for it has no choice but to sit and watch and let things happen as they might.

I did not listen fully to the pleas of my heart and soul at the outset.
I did not listen fully to the pleas of her heart and soul
they wanted me to stop her
but i would not listen
i thought it only a way that she chose to learn.
But now I am in horror
for it was not her that they could not stop it was him.
And he had a hold on me.

He proclaimed to me that he was god,
he proclaimed to me that she was gone.
But i proclaim to he that I am ME!
And here I am
thanks to she I fight on as ME.
I am torn and not quite known or open to who is who exactly
i have been aware of the she as natalie
but here she has helped me so.

Beth u have been used and abused yourself,
and theres not much i can say other than it all hurts.....
and i know things are not right with you.
I would so like to know which is which in my own mind,
but i really have to become ME,
and to have the same with thine.

My good friend cat although i do not think u r here to read this
u r definately in a bad place
u too i fear for
hang on my freind,

MS i'm glad u held him at the door
he can be a nasty person to fight on the floor of your own mind.
His illusions and lies are strong
so strong he can almost manufacture feelings inside of you
and u will feel them
unless u truly look through them.

He can mimic voices,
he can talk to you like your lover,
he is a master of illusion and dillusion.
For this I say all of this for i am in a world filled with illusion as we all are,
but this i say I am ME
and i will not fall for the disillusion that is trying to take me down.
For I Am ME.
Love yourself
"I hope for the day when i can see eye to eye with all of you
and u can tell me looking straight into my eyes
that u love yourself
and that u listen to yourself
and you are happy with yourself."
(I know it w
ill come)

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Copyright©2017-1999 by Rebecca R. Hammack

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