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To Resist Your Pull
Author: Pondering Red

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this is what i want to say.
this is how i feel.
i have welcomed you to my home
and into my arms,
still tightened
from our previous misadventures.
how could i refuse the twinkle of
lust and desperataion
in your eyes ?
you dove into me,
sleek and slithery,
weaving around my heart,
erasing our combined negativities

yet,in early mornings light,
as you squeeze me into the real world,
my doom starts to escalate
as you quietly slip away
to not hurt her feelings.
the scent of you abounds.
i find my centre-
a little to the left.
i fight for strength,
clutching the phone;
reaching out to any friend
who will listen;
reaching out to the emerging speckles of sunlight.
i am also fighting
to keep my brilliance that
i have tried so hard not to fight for.

knowing that help resides in time and doing nothing
i conjure a plan,
based on my past months of reflection
on you and into my self.
i grow ill from the pain.
desolate and depleted of my good energy,
i huddle under the blanket
that we slept under
just hours ago.
i deserve better that this quiet desperation.
yet, amidst the suffering of the moment,
i feel a connection to the human experience
with the realization of similarity.
this soothes my aching being.

i bake some muffins.
i will have to tell you that
my sanity relies
on breaking away from your pull.
i deserve better than to
reflect on a night of love
- alone -
with the dust of the sun
dancing over my head.

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Martin Vann (63.208.43.132) -- Tuesday, March 4 2003, 10:14 pm

Hope you like muffins...,

Oh, the warmth of his words, the heat of his passion, yet for all this, you only get an occasional companion!

Nights must be really cold, for you wait for this one, to come into your home, share your blanket then what, go back home?

Forgive me, if you will or can, you take a pill of poison, to cure a heart so ill? Well, do what you must, I'm no genius, but I think you should try and find a better medication.

Yes, easy for me to say, I know not how deep your affliction, yet I say, do you think your present medication is the correct prescription?

If, he wants you, I'm sure someone else out there wants and needs you. Why not get a second opinion?

Excellent poem, its about the real world.

Thanks.

MartinV
from PonderingRed (65.94.134.103) -- Saturday, March 15 2003, 08:52 pm

interesting

Martin..thanks for your comment..I really appreciate it..I have read alot of your coments to different poets and this is what I feel..I think that your comments have a great depth and they are ' a poem onto a poem'..very well written..I would write poetry out of your comments..really think about it..I like your expression.
 
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