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Cookies And Beer
Author: Pondering Red

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Love me...hate me more with apathy
Sweet revenge - a messy affair
I stare into a veiled future.
You say love and hate go together.
I doubt this
feeling I have is
stronger than rage
sharper than
your tongue
is out of control.
I roll and sigh
and die in my dream
and I ask you to stab me with your knife
that I chop vegetables with
for our soups and dinners.
I am still hungry
for a touch.
Your hands are rough
and swollen - almost deformed -
you say from cuts
off the lobster nets.
You have been brusied and scarred.
Is this why you don't caress
and touch me all over - everywhere -
I stare
at your things,
your shiny floors - disinfected
with javex.
Your scent is seductively edible.
I love to kiss your cheek again and again
we roll over on your sheet.
The blanket smells
of your self, your binges,
your unhappiness, the aftermath of many binges.
I wish I was somewhere else,
yet you pull me back
with your words - cruel yet sweet -
bitter yet pleading.
I'm bleeding,
frightened,
unenlightened.
I love your profile.
I want you to look at me sideways.
Don't stare - beware.
These days - much confusion
in my heart
tells me
you and I are fluttering
like a butterfly and a moth.
Heavy hearted
my hands tremble
as I eat your cookies.
I choke on my sadness.
I don't want to buy your beer anymore.

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