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Panic And Pills
Author: Pondering Red

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White baby blue powder
compressed
compacted into
little
almost perfectly rounded pills
to cure my ills.
Once upon a time
in days of fine,
I was chopping bright red and green vegetables -
pitching them
into the sizzling oil,
into the wok -
this - added to the warmth of
that fine spring day
that was to swallow me up,
that devoured my logic.
And for what reason ?
It was a nice season.
I wanted to play - instead -
you panic, a stranger still,
seized me
and threw me against the wall,
sent me bouncing to the edge of madness.
You tryed to choke the life force
and hope
from my veins were crying
for relief -
disbelief,
You became my familiar friend.
From one micro-split second to another
my paths took an abrupt turn,
a severe detour.
The knife dropped from my frozen hand
ever so slowly...
fingers paralyzed,
I slid down on the wooden floor,
clawing at the boards,
trying to draw a breath back into my lungs.
I lay there.
I lay there for years it seems.
And you - other demon friend,
pale perfect sky blue,
and you, sunny chrysanthemum one -
you both surged through my blood,
flooding me with renewed breath
that fluttered inside like a butterfly.
I was saved.
My mind and body smiled -
yet - I cryed as
I died.
You - the panic
and you - the elixir of relief,
played with each other,
teased and
hypnotized me,
sent me sinking to nightmare worlds
that were real.
I
longed
for
Hell

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