vinebar

Trust Again?
Author: Seizure

vinebar

You know for a time, I was welcomed here
I took some time off to get my head clear
People sent me notes, all of the time
Asking for favors, none of which, mine
I helped so many, but then they left me
Again I was used, but I guarantee
It won't fly again, I hate all of them
I mean it is me that they all condemn

Some said it'd be different, I hear it all the time
Then they get pissed off, and act like I'm slime
When I don't spill it all, and keep it inside
Forgive me everyone, I have much to hide
That I won't let out, then they all leave too
They claim that they won't, but I know it's true
It happened fifty times, counting four from here
So why get hurt more, I'd rather disappear

There were three from here, that asked me to write
Each time they saw me, every single night
They thought I wrote well, and they wanted aid
Drafting their thoughts, while I further fade
One of them lied, and took my poem for his
He changed a few words, it doesn't take a wiz
To notice he stole it, before my very eyes
Another used me there, it wasn't a surprise

The second gave a script, about his hard life
And wanted me to, draft out his strife
I did about four, and regretted it
Because in my eyes, they turned out like shit
He claimed to kill himself, but lived the next day
I blocked him from my list, liars go away
The third is still my friend, at least I think so
We don't talk much now, so I just don't know

I won't mention names, but there's some girls here
That thought they liked me, and said they were sincere
The first said she cared, in the first email
Then made up stories, to each small detail
I proved most of them false, she said I was ugly
You think I give a f*ck, if you now hate me?
I blocked you from my list, and I do not care
So don't cry to me, with more false despair

The second one wished, I could be with her
And so I asked just, how can she be sure?
She's never met me, she'd see me with hate
It's all I have left, why go on a date?
She continued on, for a couple weeks
She described her friends as a bunch of geeks
She asked me to swear, all my loyalty
I just told her that, she doesn't know me

She too turned away, I'm a waste of time
Not being with her, seems to be a crime
I asked her if, she hated me then
She lied and said no, another lied again
Just how do I know? I see her on the net
She doesn't speak to me, she'd rather forget
She too said she'd stay, just give her a chance
I knew she would leave, from my very first glance

I give props to those that still stick by me
Mr. Vann, Ryan, Stacey, and Ashley
Becky, Ash, and I won't forget Terrie
There's a couple more, such as LinzAy
They offered two cents, in my time of need
While everybody else, wants to see me bleed
So to the ones I trusted, then backstabbed my skin
I say f*ck you all, I'll never trust again

------- Author's Notes -------

Out of all the people I have ever trusted with anything personal, only four have remained true to their word. Two of them are now dead. I will never trust another person again.

vinebar

Comments on this poem/writing:

Terrie* (65.135.86.71) -- Sunday, November 23 2003, 05:12 pm

Thanx Seiz.........

Seiz...ya know that i will make every effort to comment on your awesome work....so ya better plan on sticking around and writing plent more for a long time...neither one of us is bailing out ya hear...sometimes i do not comment due to my long working hours...but 'aye sweetie like i tell my children i will still be there when ya need me the most...when ya wake up and when ya go to sleep...as long as the good Lord wills...i felt so honoured to have you of all people...someone whose poetry i enjoy and admire to the max...mention my name in one of your poems...i wish my poems could simplyfy your life by ridding of all bad experiences you have gone thru..don't let the ignorance of a few individuals put a damper on your freedom and love for life...live your life for SEIZURE. awhile back i wrote a poem based on a friend...well your one individual it was based on...TWO THUMBS UP FOR YOU POETRY.......Terrie*
Leah06 (24.5.241.141) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 02:15 am

i am still right here...

This poem says alot. wow, i dont know what to say other than i never turned away, and i never will. great poem, im still right here.

Leah Kendall
Seizure (65.80.81.6) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 02:43 am

well...

Terrie, I'm glad you were touched with the mention of your name. Every word was meant. I will go check out "Two Thumbs Up For You Poetry" after this comment.

Leah06, your comments are always appreciated 06.

I'm surprised you were both willing to read such a long poem there, thanks again.
Ashley R. (66.52.64.114) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 02:49 am

no title

Seizure, although i have already read this poem, i thought i'd read it again. Its really good, and dont quit writing! You have tremendous talent!
Terrie* (65.148.233.36) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 02:53 am

Seiz........................

the title of the poem is "I have this friend" the two thumbs up was for you sweetie...for you and your poetry..Terrie*
Seizure (65.80.81.6) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 02:55 am

two thumbs up for poetry...

Terrie, I couldn't find the poem. Perhaps I read your comment wrong.

Ashley R, I don't think I'll be able to quit until I die (whenever that is). I'll continue to say everything people don't want to hear about life. Maybe I'll even experience something good and write about it. Who knows...
Seizure (65.80.81.6) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 03:22 am

two thumbs up for poetry...

Terrie, I couldn't find the poem. Perhaps I read your comment wrong.

Ashley R, I don't think I'll be able to quit until I die (whenever that is). I'll continue to say everything people don't want to hear about life. Maybe I'll even experience something good and write about it. Who knows...
Ash (65.73.59.237) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 09:03 pm

no title

Seiz, I'm glad to read so much new stuff from you. As always it is wonderful, straightforward, and well worth the read. I can always relate in some small sort of way to your poems and that makes me keep reading every single one of them. Please do not swear off trusting anyone ever again, for not all people are bad and not trustworthy. I haven't gone thru your life and walked in your shoes and i will not pretend to, but i do think a few are still worth trusting, if my input matters at all.
Ash (65.73.59.237) -- Monday, November 24 2003, 09:12 pm

no title

P.S. thanks for mentioning me!!
Ashley R (66.244.0.36) -- Tuesday, November 25 2003, 04:20 pm

-Seizure-

I know something good will happen. Life isn't that unfair. It may just take a while. But hang in there!
Stacey (68.82.126.206) -- Tuesday, December 9 2003, 09:01 pm

Umm Seiz....

Thanks :)
Seizure (65.80.81.6) -- Tuesday, December 9 2003, 10:21 pm

hmm...

Ash, no problem with the mentioning part. And I agree, not all people are untrustworthy.. just all the ones I choose to trust are. Somewhat of poetic justice I suppose.

Ashley R, life is that unfair, but thanks anyway.

Stacey, I assume the thanks is for mentioning you in the writing... no problem.
LinzAy (65.35.22.28) -- Saturday, January 10 2004, 07:57 am

'''

Hey Josh....I'm glad you know that i still stick by you! Hope you never think otherwise
Great piece of work!
Miss talkin to ya!
Pamela (66.38.146.204) -- Saturday, January 10 2004, 07:03 pm

Liked It

I liked this poem because it basically tells it like it is. You didn't sugar-coat any of the harshness but you still took time to acknowledge those few that stuck by you.
Good job :O)
KJP (67.112.79.23) -- Saturday, January 31 2004, 07:41 am

..............

I have a really hard time trusting people too. I have had some really bad situations in which I felt like I was just going to die. The only person that I know will stand by my side FOREVER is God. I turn to him for trust. I love all of your poems by the way. I can honestly say they really relate to me.
ashleigh (168.9.44.2) -- Wednesday, February 11 2004, 06:52 pm

i feel u

i feel u on every word u said and i read this poem over and over again just 2 make sure i felt the same every time i think that u should never trust a person until they earn ur trust but thats just me i know i havnt been through even half of what u have but im a person who can feel for pple and know ow they really feel and i dont trust pple tho the fact that most pple hide under a mask and hide who they really are and u gotta b carefull bout that i really like what u have 2 say and the way u say it becaz it makes so much sense and its real its really out there ur not writing bout how u think or wish the world should b u wrote bout how the world and pple r and i hope u keep writin and puttin more poems out i really enjoy them
mandy steder (70.226.132.231) -- Thursday, November 30 2006, 07:44 pm

hmm

well i guess that everyone like me who has given you support means to you then, hmm? you are the only person i read on here overall. i read pretty much all of your poems and never say dumb . i dont lie when i say you are good or whatever, so keep your byass opinions to yourself. you have no clue what people feel. no idea what they think. if you have issues with self esteem, go see a therapist.
Meri (205.188.116.135) -- Thursday, August 4 2011, 06:58 pm

Hey Seiz

Seizure,

This is THE poem. Though there are curse words in here, I see your point. I agree with you 100 percent on trusting people.

You know I was one of those who used to copy your writing style as well. I loved the eight-lines-to-a-stanza type of style with the aabbccdd rhyme scheme. Didn't start writing like me til much later. But your writing style was definitely an inspiration.
Meri (205.188.116.135) -- Thursday, August 4 2011, 06:59 pm

oh yeah

About stanza 5, line 5...that's the line that stood out.

Just because photos of poets are exchanged, for example, and one poet doesn't like what he/she sees of the other poet, so what, right? I mean, I'm up here for one sole purpose: to write.

It is easy to imagine what someone would look like if you haven't seen them. But I don't care what anyone looks like. I come to read, write, submit, comment and that's it.

I agree Seiz.
 
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