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Disappear
16 July, 2002
Author: Seizure

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As tracks I left in snow, slowly disappear
I think about my life, I wish I wasn't here
I miss her so much, a feeling everyone knows
Now a gentle breeze, pushes past my clothes
I stare at a pond, ice begins to form
I can't remember, the last time I was warm
To life I'm turned away, I'm locked in despair
No one even knows me, so why would anyone care?

I remember life, being very nice
I see my reflection, reflected in the ice
She tried to save me, but failed all along
She said people cared, looks like she was wrong
Don't look at me now, I can't see her face
I feel so ugly, I am a disgrace
I think about her, forbidding like the sea
She meant everything, everything to me

My time is fading, faster than it should
I know that I did, everything I could
To keep our lives going, facing the right path
Then one day I came home, and found her in the bath
Veins in both her wrists, were slit with a knife
She didn't seem sad, why'd she end her life?
I came home early, to ask for her hand
Together forever, I could not understand

I found her diary, sitting in our room
She wrote about a fear, of me being her groom
And how she used me, to get at my cash
I feel so useless, I feel like trash
She said she was sad, that it's harder now
To go through with this, but I don't see how
She never really cared, she never loved me
I see the two of us, were never meant to be

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Pamela (199.216.176.5) -- Saturday, July 20 2002, 04:26 am

That just may be....

That just may be the saddest story I have ever heard.
Seizure (67.33.107.246) -- Saturday, July 20 2002, 07:50 am

I was wondering...

Thanks for the comment. I was wondering if anyone even read my poems anymore.
Pamela (199.216.176.5) -- Saturday, July 20 2002, 06:43 pm

Always Read Them

I always read your new poems as they come Seizure, I lvoe your writing and I think that they are brutally truthful. Although, sometimes I do not comment because they make me so sad. Besides, you should write your poetry for you, not anyone else. Seems like its a good release for you :o)
Keep writin' em', and I'll keep readin' em'!
Seizure (67.34.133.73) -- Saturday, July 20 2002, 10:49 pm

Pamela

I do write for myself. But if I JUST wrote for myself, why would I send it to Dreamer? Know what I'm saying? See, some people can deal with problems by reading about situations similar. So if my writing can help someone, then I'm all for it. That's why I'm happy to find people still, actually read my shit.

I will say though, that if my writing makes you real sad, maybe you shouldn't read it. I don't write to bring people down with me. Depression is unhealthy and I wouldn't wish it on my greatest enemy. Dreamer told me you'll be in the chat tonight, so I'll talk to you then.
Pamela (199.216.176.5) -- Saturday, July 20 2002, 11:36 pm

The essence of poetry

When I say that your poems often make me sad, its not a bad thing. Remember, sorrow can be a good place to be right? It helps me reflect on things that
a) I can relate to
b) I cannot relate to, but gives me compassion for you.
I think that if a poem can make me feel sad in the depths of my soul, then it must have been written magnificently, and with emotions so strong that they come through :o) Talk to you tonight.
Seizure (67.34.133.73) -- Saturday, July 20 2002, 11:56 pm

yeah yeah...

Why is it whenever you explain yourself I always feel stupid? That should have clicked when I first read it, but you know... it's hard to connect and see what people are trying to express through mere text on a screen.
Pamela (199.216.176.5) -- Sunday, July 21 2002, 03:13 am

Emoticons..

LOL, not to worry, I always sound so serious over the computer. It's hard to decipher the language of html :o) Don't feel stupid, I don't know why I always feel the need to explain myself!
TTYL
Baby Gurl (216.135.36.231) -- Friday, October 18 2002, 07:41 pm

I know what you went though

I know what you went through, well in a sense not exactly. My mother killed herself, she shot herself. My dad was the one that found her but it still hurt more than anyone can imagine. My mom seemed perfectly fine to, she didn't show any signs of being suicidial. She wasen't depressed (if she was she could hide it really good) sometimes people just fill like it's the best thing for them and other people. But in reality it feels like they just gave up on everything, on there family and on life. I have read a few of your other poems and each one touches me in a different way. I write poems to but mine aren't as good as yours I want to put them on here but I guess Im a little shy to have poeple read them. I just wanted to tell you that you have a special talent for poetry and not everyone can write a poem, tell a story and make it sound as good as you do. Keep writing great poems!!
Seizure (67.33.103.145) -- Saturday, October 19 2002, 03:13 am

Baby Gurl

I read all your comments and appreciate them very much. I personally think you should post the poems you have written up. Everyone has a different writing style, I would like to read yours.

Sorry to hear about your mother. It hurts to have to go through that, but you feel really bad knowing it happens to other people that don't deserve it.

Well... I hope to talk to you later.
smiley (152.163.189.204) -- Monday, October 21 2002, 11:20 pm

forgive me PLEASE

i am out of my mind with compassion--i now wish you lived across the street for us to visit and talk--hang in there--I will write you poem for you--maybe we will put out good things for the world and forget our anger-
Roy
J. (209.214.53.3) -- Tuesday, October 22 2002, 02:42 am

cry...

I'm gonna go cry in my banana milkshake now. -quote from ape boy... don't blame me blame ape boy...:)

on the side note... is it just me or are all your good poems not turned into songs? ...jesus... you bastard you been holding out on me!:)...
Seizure (68.155.218.237) -- Wednesday, October 23 2002, 09:19 pm

Yeah...

My good poems don't turn to songs, at least yet :). I'm waiting until we slap together some music that would work with some of them... yeah...
smiley (205.188.208.71) -- Thursday, October 24 2002, 03:09 am

touching

YOU ARE GOOD
Ash (65.73.59.236) -- Tuesday, July 1 2003, 12:08 am

You Are Amazing

Seizure your poems aren't "shit" they are incredible. Your poems are real in a straight up kind of way which can really open a person's eyes.
Seizure (216.47.215.144) -- Tuesday, July 1 2003, 05:12 am

Ash

Thanks for the comment Ash. It's greatly appreciated.
Terrie (65.148.208.132) -- Wednesday, July 2 2003, 02:56 am

very moving

your writings are real good ,actually far more than good they are excellent you have a great writing talent who knows some may turn out to be great songs.....your putting your heart into them....their perfect.....don't stop now...if we go thru the emotions of each poem..that means that we were able to grasp it into our heart..and semi-sorta feel what the writer was going thru at the time..after all that is the point............
Seizure (216.47.215.144) -- Saturday, July 5 2003, 10:42 am

thanks

thanks for the comments there Terrie.. i appreciated it.
 
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