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Go Call My Sons Together
1 September, 2001
Author: Shiloh

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After the last guest has gone,
with hurried, embarrassed wishes,
and after the coffee cups are washed
and the dishes put away,
and there seems, for the moment,
there is nothing else to do,--
you'll pour another cup of coffee for yourself,
and sit down with your sisters.
It's been a long day,
but the night will be longer.
And tomorrow... you're not yet ready
to think about tomorrow.
You're thankful your family has stayed
because you need someone to be there
for the moment...

Idle talk, forced verbal exchanges;
everyone is staying away from what is on your mind.
Rough,clumsy attempts are made
at saying comforting things to you, -
Don't be angry - no one really knows
what to say or do for you right now.
Conversation abates, the lapses of silence
are longer, more frequent,
and everyone realizes there is no more reason
to stay any longer.

"You must be tired," "We'll be in touch,"
"If you need anything, or just want to talk, please call,"
"If we can do anything for you,"
"You're in our prayers," --
and you stand at the door,
watching,
as the last headlights back out
and become taillights.
You turn back into the room,
idly walking about,
straightening things up
that don't need straightening up.
And the house is silent...
too silent.

For a moment, forgetting,
you'll start to say something to me,
then you'll catch yourself -
and the hurt and anger will return.
And, understanding the how, but not the why,
you'll mentally damn everything and everyone
that has played a part in your life to this moment,
and despair will work at the corners of your eyes.

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