Looking back, way, way back,
I realize I've could have taken up some more slack,
Oh, it would not have had to be so grand,
But I should have gotten over to Iceland,
I never got to ride in a company jet,
I never placed a really large bet,
People wouldn't come to me for advice,
It seems I always had to pay full price,
Couldn't understand opera or modern art,
Even missed the Christmas sales at K-Mart,
Never met my 12-term Congressman,
And I couldn't get an even tan,
Not once did I have a one-night stand,
I should have gotten out a little more,
Someplace besides the grocery store,
Oh, well, shucky-darn,
A recluse suffers less abuse.

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