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Loving Too Much
24 February, 2002
Author: Maranda Berkley

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she walks across the crowded room
up the stairs, to her room
shuts the door behind her
checks to make sure it's locked
looks to see her blinds are where she left them
pulled down to shut everything out
she sits on her bed and looks around
wondering why she's there alone
trying to figure out where everyone's at
she remembers your face perfectly
your pictures are still on the wall
left untouched with the beautiful words surrounding
she tries to hear the sound of your voice
tries to remember your smell
around everyone, she acts like living without you is fine
alone-it's a living hell
she remembers so much about you
yet she can't remind herself of enough
you were everything to her
you're still the only one she loves
but she doesn't know how to be with you
you made the mistake of loving her too much
she's afraid of becoming too attached
all this has happened before
she loves you, you love her back
and she winds up getting hurt
she can't handle the pain
so she fights off the love
doing whatever it takes to get you out of her life
shutting you out and shutting off
alone she'll return to her life of nothing
as you sit and do the same
you know you both could be together
happy and alive
but she wants to be alone
inside it's tearing you both apart
the desire to be dead for both is the same
she focus' on your picture
looks directly into your eyes
she cried she wanted to be all you needed
she wanted to be the one to never cause you pain
to only make you happy
and she hears your voice for the first time in months
saying "you can, just don't push me away"
and a tear falls from her eye
knowing she made a mistake
knowing more months will go by
and she'll be missing you just the same
she knows you are right
but she's too afraid
just like she was in the past
to tell you how she feels
to make everything perfect for you again
when you already know in your heart
she's all you'll ever need
so she waits
for another one to love so she can push them away
because she's a coward, she's too afraid

but she'll never have a love like this
there'll never be another you
and she'll hate herself forever for letting you go
but you know deep inside of you
you'd take her back
is she'd let you in
stop pushing you away
and make everything right
you know she's perfect for you
she makes you happy
when she's not shutting you out
but as long as the coward won't face her fears
as long as she huts you and doesn't care
if she doesn't let you into her life
she'll know it's her fault
that she lost the greatest love of her life
without so much as a fight

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