Look at that sun, how brightly does it shine for you? That must be nice. That same sun that shines so beautifully bright for you hides from me. I see a sun hiding behind clouds of overcast that are just waiting to rain down on me thoughts of hatred towards obesity, then disgust. I can’t help it, though. But in your eyes I’m sure I can. I could be thin if I really wanted to be. I could at least try. But what if I am? What if I’m trying harder than you ever thought possible to shed these extra hundred pounds or so? If you knew that would you still be so disgusted? You fear once in a while that your flat stomach will look pudgy in those two certain outfits…but me?...Me…I live in fear daily that every person who looks at me is only thinking about one thing. My obesity. Not acknowledging my beautiful eyes or my booming personality. Thinking “Well, she sure should never wear that again…she shouldn’t even be wearing it now.”

I’m trying so hard to break free from this prison of myself. But if you’ve got no one to help you, no one who cares…how easy do you think it really is? I do notice your stares. And I do know exactly what you’re thinking…for people have actually said those exact thoughts to my face. Laughing as tears of pain rolled down my face. Laughing loudly, drawing more attention to me than I know I already draw on my own. I want so badly to be as beautiful as you. You, who criticize me and down me. You, who have no clue of how it feels to be prisoner in your own skin. You, who can eat all that food with no one judging you because you’re overweight. You, who are lucky.

Everyone is a prisoner of something in their life. Whether it is an abusive relationship, money, drugs, acne…glasses. I am a prisoner of obesity. And I stomp my foot and the earth quakes, from the force of my will not my obesity. Let it be heard. I am obese now…but I will not die a prisoner in my own skin. Respect me.