vinebar

Why?
Author: Sharita

vinebar

It's time to die.
It's time to say goodbye,
but before I go today
I must try to explain why.

There was something living,
deep down inside.
It was annoying and repetitive,
and keep impling that people must die.

It wasn't normal.
It wasn't even real,
but somedays it seemed like
I just had to kill.

That's when I knew
the day I though of killing you.
That sooner or later
the thoughts would somehow become the truth.

How would I explain it
was I supposed to be a killer.
What happened to me,
where could my inner child be.

So, I tried to hide it
I tried even harder to fight,
but sometimes it lashes out
mostly during the night.

It has taken me 9 years,
to say enough is enough.
If someone has to die,
then let it end with us.

In the end
when times get rough.
Know it was my choice,
and now it's time to be tough.

When I'm gone
please try to understand
that even in the end
I knew you really cared.

Some may call me selfish.
Some may call me weak,
but not only did I end my pain
I did it for everyone including me.

You see I couldn't bare to be on trial
one of these days
listening to a mother's cry
of why I took her child away.

If people try to blame you for my suicidal death
turn around face to face
saying that, "I loved my daughter
and she loved me too".

I know some didn't see it coming
some didn't see my pain,
but believe me it was there
inside my dreams, thoughts, and nightmares.

So until you die I will wait for you
but for now I've got to fly,
and be free from whatever
decided to dwell deep within my mind.

Wait, don't leave yet,
I have one more thing to say.
I hope somehow I answered your question
of why I choose this way.

I know it may not be clear
or perhaps people still want to blame
Just keep in mind that I always,
I always will love you.

vinebar

Comments on this poem/writing:

Sweet Sara (216.39.188.71) -- Saturday, December 4 2004, 08:25 pm

wow

you're pretty good at catching the reader's mind sharita! that poem realy came to me. the poem describes wut so many people out there are going through. terrific!

~sara~
song of despair (218.111.31.146) -- Saturday, November 26 2005, 07:01 am

.

your poem touched me.. it describes what i want to say..
 
Name:                                           Remember Me

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