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Gods Plan Going Wrong
Author: Ben Franklin

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I drink to throw
my problems to the back of my mind,
if there locked up there
then they will be harder to find,

I wake up feeling like crap,
yet 3 hours later im back down the the pub
falling into the same trap,

I think im smart,
probably scared of my own gift,
when I post my poems here
your comments give me such a lift,

but I still look for an answer at the bottom
of a bottle,
if my mind was a throat
Id give it a damn good throttle,

I feel God put me here as part of his plan,
but when am i gonna put down the drink
and become a man?

------- Author's Notes -------

I write alot of poems about other peoples lifes, but this one has been building up for a long time now. I have been drinking far to much, I turn nasty towards people, I let people down (including myself). the normal routine for me is binge for at least 3 days of the week, and that is usually me down the pub on my own. the longest i stoped for was two weeks,but then id start smoking cannabis as compensation.This is why I have not posted many poems lately,I feel my self drifting away. Im not writing this for attention, just really needed to get it off my chest.

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Comments on this poem/writing:

Meridian (172.175.175.93) -- Friday, April 1 2005, 12:32 am

Binge

Hushy! I remember somebody calling you Husky once----(hahha)---nevertheless, I don't know how it feels to be fond of the bottle but have you tried or considered seeking help to quit or laying off it? Ben being the fact that its almost our Beniversary (as poetry pals) I hate it when you feel sad because you have a gift to make people laugh. I know that through experience! I hope, I really do, that you'll get better. Don't wanna say anything to tick you off, just wanna send this comment/ammendment to you out of love! You are like blood, man!
Take care of yourself. Please.
---XOXOXO Miss Smelly (lol)
Ben f (81.100.175.132) -- Friday, April 1 2005, 09:09 am

Beniversary?

strange how time passes so quick a. the only help i can get is from myself, just finding it so hard.
thanks for reading and caring. love ben
Ben f (81.100.175.132) -- Saturday, April 2 2005, 12:15 am

no title

its just i feel like such a bad person when i drink....im sorry nat for what i do, I hope this project explains alot to you.xxx
Terrie* (65.150.167.10) -- Saturday, April 2 2005, 01:05 am

we must go through the storm before the rainbow...

we all have demons to battle sweetie, i escape and become selfish when i claim a time to myself late in the evening ...
(i feel bad because i claim it as Terrie-Time..but i feel refreshed that i can find the answers within my own heart..many times i find myself going to someone i respect and love for the answers when i caint see the whole picture ) i deal w/illness at work on a daily basis and sometimes it takeas a toll on me..i get too involved...i caint just walk away...i sense or feel a connection a force to something and i follow through..
i find comfort on my escape periods when it is just God and i as i stroll through the park..and yet i do not always see the answers before me.. i also know that i have a purpose ..and my mission isn't complete..my heart is so full of questions...my life is just passing through..i come and go into someones life just as the seasons...in some lifes i stay longer mainly i believe cause i have a need to learn and understand what i am searching..through their lifes...we all... i believe have a significant reason for our existence...our callings differ everyday.. i may meet friends and watch them disappear...w/o a trace..i can try to make contact..and get no answer..that tells me life moves forward like a cloud passing through...but i have learned from many short friendships...my job another story untold..that plays a bigger part in healing of many souls mainly mine i believe...we are our own healimg source...thank you for sharing the flesh of your heart...we all bruise easily ..but..we all dust our hands off and walk away with unknown strength...Terrie*
Ben f (81.100.175.132) -- Saturday, April 2 2005, 03:10 pm

Terrie*

thank you Terrie* for your words of strength.
lots of Love
Ben
Natalie L (194.82.83.250) -- Monday, April 4 2005, 04:36 pm

Ben

We might not see as much of eachother as we'd like (which cant be helped seeing as we live on complete opposite sides of London, but you know I'm always there for you in spirit, and you know you can always pick up a phone, write me a letter, send an e-mail or text, or maybe if you shout really loud I might hear :) You already know what I think and how I feel about it, this poem let me see it a bit more from your side too. Take care and dont let your talent go to waste.xxx
Ben F (81.100.175.132) -- Monday, April 4 2005, 05:56 pm

Nat

Glad you understand.
bling (203.173.207.95) -- Wednesday, June 20 2007, 02:05 pm

help

i believe if many peep could see mre of ur poems in da open u could prob save sum1s life nt only jst urz.. this is really amazn,..hey ben im falln 4 u darl..xx.. hehehe..please keep it up..x..
 
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