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What To Do If You Wake Up Dead. Ten (easy) Steps!
20 May, 2010
Author: Colin Stewart

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1. If the plumbing isn't working it may be your last morning pee!

2. Call work: You are allowed 3 days to grieve!

3. Remember you have no taste buds. Coffee will be bland and the english muffins seem stale.

4. Let's face it your golf game will really suffer now!

5. Leave a message for your girlfriend that you'll be late for dinner. This is a moot point: You've always been late for dinner!

6. You will miss the 7th game of the Stanley Cup playoffs.
Take heart: You're already into sudden death overtime!

7. That diet you keep putting off: Well you no longer carry the burden of guilt and procrastination!

8. Please accept the expiry date on your sex life with a certain degree of dignity. The viagra wasn't working anyway!

9. Remember you can't take your cell phone with you so draw a deep breath and just get used to it!

10. Go back to bed. It could be a dream!

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