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Willie (song)
Author: Mark Spencer

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Verse 1

Willie was a randy dog,
Libido ruled his soul.
He’d hump your leg, maybe a tree,
Or a telephone pole.

And all the dogs were scared of him,
They knew what he might do.
He snuck up on each one of them,
At least a time or two.

But there was one dog on the block,
That Willie hadn’t bagged.
He watched in silence from his porch,
While other dogs got shagged.

And Willie had his sights upon
That pampered canine’s tail.
He’d make that dog his bitch tonight,
And ride him like a rail!

Chorus

Willie oh Willie
Go find you a filly
And stop all this cattin’ around!
It’s gonna fall off
The next time you cough
You randy old tramp of a hound!

Verse 2

So Willie crept up on the dog
And mounted him right there.
But there was something wrong with him,
He didn’t have no hair!

And it was cold that winter night,
When Willie met his fate,
‘Cause that dog was just a statue,
Made out of iron plate!

The cold made Willie’s willy stick,
Right to that statue’s butt!
And when the sun came up that day,
They found that randy mutt!

But when the rescue team arrived,
And set old Willie free,
They knew he'd never be the same,
He couldn’t even pee.

Chorus

Willie oh Willie
Go find you a filly
And stop all this cattin’ around!
It’s gonna fall off
The next time you cough
You randy old tramp of a hound!

Short instrumental break

Refrain

He’d never hump another leg,
Or shag another stray.
The neighborhood was overjoyed,
At what happen that day.

And what cured this dog’s libido
May sound kind of silly.
But shouldn’t all dogs think before
Whipping out their willy?

Chorus

Willie oh Willie
Go find you a filly
And stop all this cattin’ around!
It’s gonna fall off
The next time you cough
You randy old tramp of a hound!

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Comments on this poem/writing:

anonymous (24.19.113.200) -- Tuesday, July 9 2013, 09:14 pm

Nice!

Would like to hear Johnny Cash sing this. Might be a hit?
 
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