Worst Kind Of Pain by Shan

I have to curl up on my bed and cover up my ears,
In fear of the things that will bring apon my tears.
I make my brain go numb and try to forget the harm
But nothing is louder then the ringing of my own heads alarm
As the minutes go by and I pass them in my bed
More and more thoughts are telling me that I wish I was dead.
So scared to believe them, yet nothing else to believe
Try to convince myself, that like every other time, these feelings will leave
The tears turn red and become much heavier then before
And then everything, even breathing becomes such a chore.
As I reach my climax of this chaotic realm
Everything is released, everything that made me overwhelmed
I scream and cry as the pain and thoughts are rapidly flowing,
Scream and cry as I think of how long until this all starts going
I barely remember how, but eventually I calm down
Let go of my ears, open my eyes and look around.
The world is still here, the stress is not gone
But I can deal for a while now, until the next time I become withdrawn
And just to think, this all starts with a feeling I can't explain
And explodes into what I've described as the worst kind of pain.

Luc (12.84.1.17) -- Saturday, September 14 2002, 02:39 am

no title
feel just the same way.... hang in there.

lasohnda harris (12.229.199.53) -- Wednesday, March 5 2003, 11:02 pm

wow
you make me want to put my poem on here called sucide is not my friend.I feel the same way all the time when it just seem like no one cares to listen to how I feel and alwayse say how they feel but don't seem to care about what I think just my life has been messed up sense I was a child its something new everyday when it seems to get better it really just get worse.so man i know how you feel its like I try so hsrd not to make people angry with me but somehow I alwayse manged to fuck up even when its not my fault

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